Dissident Daughters: The Dark Side of the Light

Early last fall I was staring at the stars on a cloudless night, far away from the dulling effect of city lights. The stars shone brilliantly. They made me think of the vastness of our universe, and even the vastness of our own earth, and how small our problems are compared to the greater whole, and how many opportunities are available to each and everyone of us. You might say I was in my own little happy, comfy place.

But my little happy, comfy zone was shattered by a phone call early the next morning with the stark realization that not everyone was seeing life the way I was seeing it at that time. Someone very close to me called, having a complete meltdown and crying out for help. It wasn't "the boy crying wolf" kind of thing. Some nasty, life-threatening shit was going down. Luckily, a few close friends and family were able to get this person to a hospital right away and a life was spared. The root cause of the issue was a cascading assumption of what this person was convinced was reality, which was dark, lonely and hopeless, instead of seeing the true reality for what it is: one of hope, love and acceptance.

Following was support from other friends, even from one who has never met this person, and the healing and monitoring process has been ongoing from there. I was wracked with guilt for not being more present in this person's life and for not recognizing the signs I was shown. I vowed to change.

Two months later, I received another phone call about a young man I have known, and been very close to, since he was born. He was a great kid and had grown into a fine young man. Unfortunately, he got in with the wrong crowd and became addicted to heroin. His brother, who lives in the same city, pulled him away from the bad influence. His mother traveled from Des Moines, and together, the two of them got him into a rehabilitation center.

What a huge sigh of relief until someone came for a visit to the rehab facility and slipped him a dose of heroin. It was some bad stuff and he had a horrible experience. Older brother back to the rescue. He got this young man to a detoxification center. Time to step in again. After a frantic series of events, we got him onto a plane to Des Moines to be in the loving care of his mother and other family members. I saw him several times over the course of the week that he was here. I didn't realize how bad it was and won't go into the details, which are horrifying, but the transformation of this young man over the course of the week he was here with his mother and other family members was nothing less than amazing. He is now in a rehabilitation center in another city, far away from where he lives.

When I was invited to write a guest post for the Dissident Daughters blog, I wrote something. After I re-read it, I didn't like it. I didn't feel like I adequately expressed my feelings, emotions, or even my message. I shared these thoughts with my good friend, Amy Sue, one of the Dissident Daughters, and she suggested that I write my message in the form of song lyrics because that is who I am and how I best express myself. So that's what I did.

I have been writing song lyrics most of my adult life. Many have become actual songs through collaboration with a number of musicians, while others are simply therapeutic memoirs. I'm not sure what this one will turn out to be. It isn't presented in the standard lyric sheet format. This is simply how it came through my mind and onto paper. In part it is my story and in part it is a message I hope anyone reading this post will take to heart. Be there for others, but also be there for yourselves. The more you love and forgive yourselves, the better able you are to love and help others.

The Dark Side of the Light

Starlight from heaven

How bright that it shines

The way we receive it

Is all in our minds

The future is endless

Or so it may seem

'Til the demons of life

Have shattered your dreams

Convictions, addictions

Are powerful things

That tighten their grip

When the morning bell rings

They grab you, they hold you

And won't let you go

Pull you into the darkness

Where the light doesn't show

They take you, they rape you

They capture your soul

You no longer run

When there's nowhere to go

You know there's a bright side

You've lived it before

You left it behind

When you opened that door

You fell to the darkness

You thought you could hide

You run from yourself

Feeling empty inside

And now it seems like nothing's going right

Your strength is gone, you've lost your will to fight

The hope you had is nowhere in sight…

On the dark side of the light

There may be an answer

Take hold of my hand

Please just let me help you

Help you understand

Love is all around you

It's waiting here for you

Standing at attention

To help you make it through

Life can be a battle

Not meant to fight alone

Open arms of others

Can help you make it home