Intricate and Intimate

Hola Dissident Followers and Happy New Year from yours truly! Sooo I'm really in a quandary of what to write about this week. It's been about three solid weeks since our last post becacuse of the holidays and a lot has happend in the past three weeks which gives me a lot of blogging ideas. I'm just coming off of a much needed two week break from school and am about to start the second semester of my teaching career. I've really debated about writing a reflection of my semester one experiences, however, I think I will save that for maybe a year reflection after I complete my first year of teaching in May. I've also debated with writing about a stereotypical reflection of my experiences of 2015 in general. 2015 was a big year for me because I graduated college and ventured out into the world of adulthood, however I think I will decided against the typical New Year reflection.


As mentioned before, since my Christmas break is coming to an abrupt end, last night, my roommate and I decided to be spontaneous and try out a free salsa dance lesson at the Rumba Bar downtown near our apartment. We stumbled across this hidden bar while we were walking downtown this weekend and saw that they were advertising the free dance lesson on their window, so we figured we may as well take advantage of it beings we teach Spanish and all. Payton, my roommate, loves to salsa dance and went dancing quite frequently when she studied abroad in Mexco. I on the other hand am quite terrible at organized dancing and have the bare minimum experience with it. I was a little nervous, but I wasn't going to pass up this fun opportunity.

Around 9:00 p.m. Payton and I began walking to the Rumba Bar. Both of us were pretty tired so we went there without consuming a drop of alcohol which only added to my nerves. We got there right around 9:30 and they hadn't began the dance lesson yet so we waltzed on up to the bar and tried one of their mojitos since that seemed to be the drink of choice there. I really liked the vibe of the bar. It was dark, there were plenty of lazer lights and the tables  and couches were set up in a way that allowed you to actually hear and talk with your friends. We talked and drank for a little bit, until the instructor finally announced that the class was going to begin and called for all interested in learning the dance to the dance floor.

Payton and I set down our drinks and bumbled out onto the dance floor. The instructor first taught us the basic salsa step. This step required no partner and was very simple. It was simple enough that even I thought I was a pro at it haha. After the instructor went over the movements of the basic step, we then did the entire dance to a song. It was really fun, but that was only the beginning. After the song ended, the instructor got us all into a circle. The people who already came with a dance partner stood next to their partners and for those of us that didn't come with a partner, stood in between the couples. The instructor then taught us how to partner salsa dance! Ahhhhh! You mean we'd actually have to dance with someone we didn't know when we weren't completely obliterated? Yepp. We danced with one partner for a few steps, then when the instructor said rotate, we all rotated to the left and danced with a new partner. Some of the men I danced with had no idea what they were doing while others could have been on "Dancing with the Stars." It was okay though because at the end of the day, all of us were there to have fun. I messed up multiple times, felt completely embarrassed with a complete stranger and yet wasn't bothered by that.

After the lesson was over, they continued to play Latin music and if you wanted to stay out and dance you could, otherwise you could go sit and drink or do whatever else you wanted to do. Payt and I got another drink and then went back to our table. We only sat there for a solid ten minutes until Payt and I both got asked to dance by what appeared to be 40 year old men. We didn't care though because we both wanted to dance. I actually danced with 3 different 40 year old men that asked me to dance and although I may have felt awkward or self conscious at times, I also felt very satisfied and at peace with myself, my partner and life. Why?

Dancing is a very intimate activity. The way your bodies are so close and move together. The way that every movement has a reaction to it. The awkwardness of accidentally stepping in opposite directions or maybe in the same direction at the wrong time. The utmost terrifying fear of gazing into your partners eyes. All of those things make dancing very scary, but oh so very intimate. I was dancing with a 40 year old stranger (I actually still don't know his name) and at that moment I have never felt so close to someone. That being said, feeling intimate with someone does not mean that you necessarily want to fuck them. I in no way, shape or form had any sexual interest in my 40 year old dance partners. I did, however, feel very private, personal and closely acquainted with them.

All this being said, I think this is a crucial piece of what my generation is missing. My generation is missing intimacy. Our feelings of intimacy are masked with social media such as Facebook, Tinder, Plenty of Fish, etc. We talk without even meeting and we fuck without even knowing a person, and although the talking and screwing temporarily put a band aid on our longing for human feeeling and interaction, it does not satisfy our human need for intimacy. One cannot be intimate behind a screen, nor can one be truly intimate behind 7 shots of Whiskey. True intimacy comes from stone cold sober conversation, touch, gaze and feeling. This is not something my generation forgot how to do; it is something my generation has never learned how to do.