Here's to All of Us: '14-'15

Hello and happy 2015, folks!!!

As this is our blog’s first post in 2015, I feel as though I should start it off with a bang. I should post about something exciting…or controversial…or challenging…or…well, you get the picture.

Truth is, it’s January, there is snow on the ground, the temperature is in the single digits, and I find that I am not feeling my usual level of spark. Blech. January. I have been trying to find more appreciation for winter this year; I can’t avoid the cold/snow living in the Midwest, and there is no point in feeling miserable for 3 months. Consequently, I have been trying to enjoy that I have more time right now to read and relax. And after running around wildly this past summer and fall, I HAVE enjoyed having more time to regroup with myself. However, it still does not negate the subzero temperatures and dark, and so I find myself with less zest than usual.

Anyhow, I have been thinking about New Year’s lately. Like so many other topics, I have some ambivalent feelings about New Years and resolutions/goals/intentions/commitments. First of all, I appreciate any holiday that encourages people to reflect. I love the idea of reflecting on what happened during the previous calendar year; I think it’s imperative to reflect upon our challenges, our successes, and our growth. One practice that I started for the first time this year was to write a list of everything that I was proud of in 2014. As someone who tends to be a bit hard on herself, I initiated this practice so that I could remind myself of the ways that I had succeeded. Some of them were fairly significant (like teaching my first college course), but I also included some less obvious successes (like initiating a set monthly dinner with some friends). I felt both so empowered, and blessed, afterward that I started encouraging several of my bereaved clients to do it as well.

In addition to reflecting on the past year, I also think that it’s important to take time to think of the ways we want to be more intentional in the upcoming year.  Humans are habitual creatures, and without being intentional about change, we probably won’t.

I think my ambivalence about New Year’s goals/intentions/resolutions/commitments comes from a couple of different places. First, it seems to me that there is often this underlying notion that we will somehow have an ontological shift once we go from December 31^st to January 1^st. That we will somehow magically be different creatures who do all of the “right” things. I don’t think that human change is ever really that drastic, and if it is that drastic, it’s not sustainable. In my experience and observation, most positive change happens in small increments over an extended period of time.  And if we don’t find a way to habituate ourselves to the goal/resolution/commitment- to make it a part of either our everyday lives, practice, or character - I also believe the change is less likely to endure.

I also feel irritation that “lose weight” is continually one of the top goals. Now, don’t get me wrong- I am certainly aware of obesity rates in America. However, phrasing it as “lose weight” seems shallow to me as it is primarily based on one’s appearance. I want people to take pride in their bodies, but I want them to take pride in their bodies for more than just how it looks. I want people to take pride that they became stronger. That they built up more endurance. That they became more flexible. That they used their bodies in creative ways. “Losing weight” just does not have enough depth, and I worry about the one-dimensional value it conveys.

Finally, I also have concerns about the level of goals that we set for ourselves, and then the shame and guilt that we endure when we do not reach them. Sometimes it seems as though new year’s goals are chance for us to write down EVERYTHING we think needs to be better about ourselves and our lives. That we want to succeed with our health, appearance, finances, career, relationships, education, self-care, etc. We want to do ALL the things (Read this post by another blog for a hilarious commentary on this subject). And again, I think that this degree of change is neither attainable or sustainable. And my concern is that we feel shame/guilt when we do not succeed, and this makes us avoid it even more, and it creates a nasty, perpetual cycle.

All that being said, here is my list of intentions for 2015.  It’s not a glamorous list by any means, and I’m sure it has its own shortcomings.  However, it is what it is- it’s simply what I would like to do in the coming year that I have not done before.

1)   Pass level 1 Aerial (I started taking aerial silks classes in December, and they have been great! I will probably do a post on it sometime in the future).

2)   Read 30 books (I love reading, and it enriches my life in so many different ways.  I want to make sure I am being intentional about building it into my schedule).

3)   Pay off 1 of my student loans

4)   Paint my bedroom (It currently has hunter green trim. Yikes).

5)   Maintain the life-giving practices that I already had in 2014 (such as intentional time with family and friends).

I also plan on focusing on “patience” and “grace” this coming year. I’ve noticed several ways that our culture of instant gratification affects me (Read HERE for more details), and I want to try and be more patient with myself, with others, with God, with time. Additionally, I want to focus on grace- extending it to both myself and others. I don’t have anything “measurable” with my goals of patience and grace- but I have them posted as reminders in a couple of places.

I also thought about having a goal for this blog. That’s one that I need to talk about further with the other sisters as this is a collaborative project. But I would like to potentially think about growing our blog. Right now, we primarily promote on Facebook, and that does not reach as many people as we would like because of the method Facebook uses to determine what shows up in your newsfeed. I don’t always like “growth” as a goal, but I do like the notion of discussing our ideas with a greater number of people. That being said, if the only people that ever read our blog is our immediate family, I will still count it as a success.

So, here’s to 2015 with new challenges and successes. And I ask you, fellow readers, what are your thoughts on New Year’s goals/resolutions/commitments/intentions? Do you do them? Why/why not? If so, what are they?

And one final closing thought- thank you, readers, for reading our blog in 2014. Here’s to another year of Dissident Daughters.