An Alesch Family Christmas

Happy Hungover from the Holidays Monday! To be completely honest, this is one of the last things I want to be doing right now. It’s Sunday night and I have to go back to work tomorrow after being gone for a week for our annual Christmas trip to Iowa. I’d rather be half-assed engaged in a book or a movie or any other activity that would allow me to zone out instead of concentrating on writing. BUT, here I am. I am sitting on my couch in my robe and slippers on a Sunday evening writing this blog because I have realized that we sisters, we dissident daughters, do not just use this blog to convey our grandiose thoughts and tirades to the Facebook community. No, more importantly, we use it to talk to each other, to connect with each other and in some ways it’s our own private little way of writing our not-so-private diaries and letting the other sisters read it each week. I have a feeling that soon we may even need the blog as a historical reference. We’ll go back some day and read some of these blogs together and say, “Oh, I totally forgot about that time we _____ (fill in the blank)!”

So anyway, the point of this blog is to briefly talk about the Alesch Christmas and the week’s activities (kind of like Jill did after my Bachelor Party Weekend in Chicago). I’m just going to hit the high points because frankly, if I wrote about everything, you may think I was trying to copy the script of the National Lampoons Christmas Vacation…

1. We all went to the “Small Town Christmas Throwdown” hosted by my cousin Brett and his lovely wife, Meghan in Council Bluffs, Iowa. My aunt Sherri made some of the best beef brisket you could imagine, Jill and John brought a huge meat and cheese tray, and Larry and I brought some meatballs from Spaghetti Works. I guess you could say we like our MEAT! Many drinks were had by all, of course, and before we knew it we were talking about boners hanging outside hotel windows for the SECOND Christmas in a row…

2. Larry and I spent that night at the Marriott in Downtown Omaha. This is the same hotel where we got engaged last year right before we had a sisters’ night out with my mom. It was special to me to spend the night there again. Not because I’m that type of girl that is going to relive her engagement as the biggest accomplishment in her life (far from it) but because it reminded me that the best part of getting married is having your family around you to take part in all the fun activities.

3. My sister Jill and my family threw me an absolutely BEAUTIFUL shower at a French restaurant in Omaha called Le Bouillon. I definitely wasn’t expecting all of the guests who showed up. I was so happy to see my aunts, cousins, etc. We do not get together often and it was just a really nice time. Jill and Amy made some of the best favors I have seen: personalized wine bottles with our engagement photos as the label. Oh, and the handmade, chocolate dipped Oreos were also the bomb! Thank God that Jill was able to control her anxiety and didn’t reschedule the shower for Pizza Ranch as she had threatened! I also have to make note of the fact that even at a fancy restaurant, of course Jill gives out blue balls as a door prize.

4. We went to the musical Beauty and the Beast after the shower. I had forgotten how beautiful this story really is. I got watery-eyed at a couple different points. Jill also hooked it up so that we got access to a private room during intermission where we got free drinks, appetizers, and our own bathroom. That was pretty bad ass. I have to think our friend, Big Shot Diers, had a hand in that.

5. The next day was a much needed lounge day. Kristen, Larry and I stayed overnight at Jill’s and after joking about a commemorative marathon shoe via Snapchat (I seriously think we are the only family that religiously uses Snapchat to communicate #Aleschproblems) all morning, we dropped the kids off at the sitter’s and started the day. First we visited the historic Crook House in Omaha. This was special and significant because for the last three years we have seen historic homes. The first year it was the Brucemore Mansion in Marion, Iowa. The second year it was the Dodge House in Council Bluffs. After our tour, we seriously drove ALL over Omaha getting some last minute gifts, including a huge ass fish net for my cousin. By then we were ready for drinks. Jill took us to this lovely German Bier Hall called Huber-Haus. This may have been my favorite part of the trip because it was such a surprise and so creative. You see, when Jill, John, my dad, and I went to Europe in 2012, we first went to France and then to Munich, Germany for Oktoberfest. So Jill planned my shower festivities to mirror that. First we went to a French restaurant and then the next day we went to throw back some German beers.  For dinner that night we were also in for another surprise as we went to a wine tasting at a place called Nosh in Omaha. The wine was flowing and the food was phenomenal and before we knew it, we were talking about all the drugs we did (or didn’t do) in college while Jill simultaneously planned for the kids to have their very first sleepover at the sitter’s because we were too drunk and would be home too late. YOLO, right?!

6. The next day we all drove to Des Moines. Jill left for work early in the morning (and proceeded to get sick at work) and Larry, Kristen, and I drove down later. We met up with Amy and Anne for dinner at what may be everyone’s favorite diner, Drake Diner, and later had a girls’ night, sans Jill, at Anne’s place. We played Cards Against Humanity and indulged in one of those wine bottles from my shower and laughed for about 3 hours straight. Though none of us other than Anne had ever really played before, we quickly learned that you couldn’t be “too literal” with your answer or come up with a “box answer” lest you be chastised by the group. Kristen, Larry and I stayed at a hotel that night in Des Moines, which is really insignificant but I like to mention it because I love the fact that both Larry and Kristen feel comfortable sharing a room as a threesome.

7. On Christmas Eve we went to Denison and went to the Christmas Eve Mass, which is somewhat a tradition only because we like to listen to the songs that the choir sings. We also had a delicious soup dinner that night. Larry made butternut squash soup even though he was nearly on his death bed from the flu. I really am a lucky woman. Kristen and Mom practically pulled an all-nighter even though Mom should have been sleeping and recovering from her recent thyroid surgery!

8. On Christmas Day we had brunch at our Dad’s place, which was quite impressive, I must say, complete with an egg bake, warm fruit compote, and GORP! Dad was already three beers in by the time we arrived so that was amusing. Kristen quickly joined him and threw back some Coronas (Feliz Navidad, bitches!) and we started playing Cards Against Humanity for the second time of the week. This resulted in us having to school Dad on what “queefing” was (blech!) and many other laughs at how much Dad sucked at the game until the last round. Finally the Finkens arrived and we all opened presents. Like every year, we were all grateful for the books that Dad gifted to us.

9. We went back to Mom’s on Christmas Day Night and made way too much food with way too many chefs in the kitchen. It was fun though. I would take a crowed, chaotic kitchen over a quiet Christmas dinner for two any day. We also did presents with mom. The gift that stole the show was the pair of “tig ol’ bitties” that Jill had gotten Larry and that ended up on Mom’s dining room ceiling. I must also document that, much to my chagrin, we finished all 6 bottles of wine that Larry insisted on bringing.

10. The final day we had breakfast at Mom’s and even though the culminating event of this year wasn’t as frenzied as last year when a squirrel made its way to the Christmas cookies in the middle of the kitchen table,  there was still plenty of chaos. Jill was going to leave the kids with our mother while we went to a movie so they were all hyped up, running around naked, and jumping on beds. Honestly, it wasn’t really bothering me but my mother turned to me and said, “Molly, I wanted to tell you: I know you and Larry aren’t used to all this commotion or the way we do things, but I’m so thankful that you come home every year.” To me, that was the defining line of Christmas this year. OF COURSE, not everyone is 100% in their comfort zone over the holidays, OF COURSE it it is emotionally and logistically challenging being around family so much over the holidays, but I can’t imagine it any other way and I am so thankful and blessed to be part of a loving, dysfunctional family.