Operation Shower

A year ago I was fortunate to be an honored guest as a brand new mom at a baby shower hosted by Operation Shower at Fenway Park. Kelly Pedroia, wife of Red Sox star second baseman Dustin Pedroia, helped coordinate the shower. LJ was not even 3 weeks old. I was still puffy, swollen and was probably running on an average of 2 hours a sleep per night. You can see my picture with Kelly and LJ above on the left.

I received so.many.amazing gifts at the Operation Shower baby shower I attended last year that I knew I had to give back in some way. So today I was fortunate to be on the other side of the operation. I volunteered with Operation Shower and helped to throw a baby shower for over 34 military mothers at Lakeview Pavilion in Foxborough. It was a beautiful, joyous event but I’m too tired to explain it and my words wouldn’t do it justice anyway. If you’re interested in the wonderful work this foundation has been doing for 10 years, please check them out at www.operationshower.org or find them on social media.

Today’s host/speaker was Rosie Pope. You can see my picture with her above on the right. I’m ashamed to admit this, but I didn’t know who she was until this event (I’ve never claimed to be a fashionable mom so that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it – I’ve since fallen in love and am following her on all types of social media). A portions of today’s event involved a Q&A with Rosie with questions coming from the expecting moms posed to Rosie who is a mother of four.

One of the questions asked about balance for a new mom. The way in which Rosie answered it, was a light bulb moment for me. She said something to the effect of how she doesn’t really like to think about “balance” for a new mom because quite frankly, it’s pretty unattainable for a new mom (one could argue it might not be attainable for anyone but that’s a separate post) and even if women strive for it, it just becomes another thing on their never ending “to do” list and ends up stressing them out. She said she would rather remind us that life comes and goes in phases – sometimes, like after the birth of a new child, it is messy and chaotic and a mom may be lucky if she gets 10 minutes to herself daily. However, those phases don’t last forever. Eventually our babies grow up and no longer want to be attached to our hip so as a mom of teenagers, we may find ourselves with plenty of time to ourselves – perhaps even too much time so that we miss those messy, chaotic, “unbalanced” years.

So as I reflected on what Rosie had said, and I reflected on my experience at Operation Shower one year ago compared to my experience today, and as I reflected on what I wanted to write for the blog, I wanted to anecdotally validate what Rose said. Life DOES come and go in phases. And while there are probably many phases with blurred lines instead of two distinct phases, I personally want to remember this lesson by the following mantra: sometimes you are the hot mess and sometimes you are the highness. Last year I was the hot mess. I was late to the shower because LJ had to nurse on the way in so I had to pull over in a grocery parking lot. I carried 50 extra pounds and two heavy bags under my eyes. I had no idea what I was doing as a mother. At that point my hormones were out of whack and I was still probably crying almost every day. During the shower I had to meekly ask where I could nurse LJ. While I was extremely grateful for the shower, I don’t think I really enjoyed it as I couldn’t really focus and be in the moment.

Fast forward a year to today and I kind of felt like the highness. No, I’m not a pompous a-hole who considers herself royalty, the word is simply meant to depict the stark contrast between two phases. This year I was 2 hours early to the shower and I was the one escorting moms to their tables giving them the low down on the event. This year I was the one directing moms where they could nurse if they needed to and giving “advice” I had learned over the last year. I’ve lost the 50 pounds and feel good physically even though I’m still tired from chasing a toddler around. I definitely don’t cry every day though I do cry some days. And most importantly, I was able to fully be in and enjoy the moment today. I feel like some of the joy that I missed out on last year when I was a hot mess was regained today in my short stint as the highness.

I’d love to hear from our readers. Do you think life comes in phases or is balance attainable? When have you felt like the hot mess? When have you felt like the highness?