A Love Letter to Our Blog and My Sisters

I try not to do it...over the course of my life, I have learned that being thankful and grateful makes life that much more enjoyable. I send handwritten thank you notes to people who have accorded me with their time, energy, wisdom and material gifts. I have kept gratitude journals and I make sure I try to give back to those who have given to me in the ways in which I am able. But...I guess it's similar to taking out frustrations on those closest to us...sometimes I forget to thank people for things that aren't so obvious. Today, that is my sisters...and more specifically, the time they all put into this blog.

Over the course of the nearly two and a half years we have been writing this blog together, there have been a few times when one or more of us has questioned whether we should keep doing it. At different times, one of us seems to drop out of the mix. Sometimes it seems like the same people do most of the posting...and a conversation between us ensues. This happened recently and it prompted me to think about this blog and what it means to me, more than it has previously. Because for some reason, this time it seemed like the end might be more imminent than it had in the past.

For various reasons, as individuals our performances have ebbed and flowed (by performance, I mean regularity of posting). Two examples I feel I can speak confidently of are Molly, who had my nephew LJ last June, and myself. Becoming a mother and understanding and creating the new balancing act a baby entails...I completely understand why Molly, a socially, physically active working mom, has skipped some of her weeks. As for myself, it is difficult for me to post when I am depressed, which happens on occasion (eventually I will blog about this...but not yet. This is one I need to work up to...even after two and a half years). I think this is what life is...everything in life ebbs and flows. This is what creates the bittersweet symphony of life. This is what allows us to appreciate, learn from and grow from our moments, our seasons and our lifetimes.

Anyway, when this happens, sometimes we question if everyone is committed to the blog. We question if people read it. We question why we are writing. And it's been different sisters who have brought it up-I know I did once, about a year or so ago. I do think this is normal...to check in and evaluate. It's a good thing...and it also emphasizes, for me, the waxing and waning of life, which is also a good reminder.

That said, this last time made me realize I hope the answer is always that we keep writing. Even if we take a break for a few months, I hope we keep writing. This blog has given me so much. It is an opportunity for me to write, to get my thoughts out, whether or not anyone reads them or "likes" them on facebook or gives me feedback. I've cried writing blog posts. It's a more intellectual version of what running does for me.

More and most importantly, it has given me the gift of knowing my beautiful sisters better. We know each other fairly well. We text in our sisters text nearly every day. We email. Sometimes (those of us who aren't phone-a-phobes) we talk on the phone. We get together...even with Molly and Kristen who are out of state...I am grateful to say that we see them more than most people with out of state relatives. And I see Anne and Jill fairly regularly since we are all in the Des Moines area (newsflash...Jill and I are coaching Trevor's soccer team together this fall!).

And still, I learn new things about my sisters from the blog. I get to know a more intimate version of my sisters, even when I have just talked to them recently and feel like I'm up to date on their lives. I get to know them as people better and I learn from them. Two examples from fairly recently I can think of are Anne's post on her foot ordeal (Anne's Foot Saga) and Jill's post on judgment (We Don't Judge Trees).

I knew everything that had happened with Anne's foot...sometimes in real time. After reading her blog post, I realized I hadn't comprehended the enormity of how that situation affected her, emotionally. I empathized with her more than I had...in addition to appreciating the wisdom in the post.

 Jill's blog about the different trees...I hope she doesn't take this the wrong way but she does claim "resident asshole" status so...I'm going to go ahead and say it. Her blog...I got to see a different side of her. She made me think about some things regarding judgment that I'm not that good at and I struggle with, even though I feel I'm a fairly non-judgmental person. She forced me to confront myself.

And it was nice to see a softer side of her-a side she doesn't show very often, even though it's definitely a big part of her.

All of this is to say...I would miss this. I love the stories. I love crying and laughing when I read and write our blog posts. I honestly don't care if anyone else ever reads them, I want us to keep writing them. For us. I love my sisters and I love our blog. And I am sorry if I haven't expressed that enough. Take time off if you want to or need to. I don't care how long it is. But let's keep writing...for us, for each other. Thank you for the time and effort and energy and love you have all put into this blog. I will try to remember to say it more often...I love all of you and your stories and your perspectives and your beautiful souls and if no one else reads this blog, I still want to.