I’ve had a couple of different topics on my mind that I
have been wanting to blog about since my last post back in April- after all, it
has been over a month since it was my turn to blog. All of the topics I had
been mulling over are still topics that I will probably eventually blog about.
However, after Jill’s most recent posting, I scratched everything I had been
drafting and decided I needed to write this post instead.
After Jill’s most recent post on Elliot Rodgers (see preceding post), the
Dissident Daughters had a group text going to discuss our thoughts regarding
it. Of course, we all thought she made some excellent points but Jill’s concern
was that she “came on too strong.” We all said something to assure her that she
shouldn’t have to worry about what she chooses to write about and how she
expresses herself. I offered my own words of assurance but then I also said that
“I worried too...I worried about topics that I may want to write about. And I
didn’t know what to think about that.”
So here I am. Thinking aloud about “that”- about which I
am afraid to write about and why I am afraid to write about it. Many of the
topics that I want to write (or rant) about are topics that specifically affect
and concern women and women’s rights. I also want to share anecdotal stories of
how I have experienced sexism, often in the workplace. However, I am fearful to
REALLY express things in this blog in the same manner that I might express them
if I were just talking to my sisters so I have been asking myself “why” this
entire week and have finally come up with an answer, albeit an answer that only
poses more questions for me. The answer is this: I am afraid that I will be
labeled a feminist. Is this also what Jill was afraid of when she worried that
she “came on too strong” regarding her opinion on Elliot Rodgers? And why am I
afraid of being labeled with that word? Why is that word so poisonous? Of
course, I don’t really know the answer. My younger sister Anne would probably
have a better answer than me, but my fear of being labeled a feminist was so
strong that I felt that I needed to direct readers’ attention to this article, which
I absolutely love:
The author, Lisbeth Darsh, basically talks about the
exact same thing I am questioning: why are people so afraid of using the word “feminist?”
She says that some argue that it is too “harsh” of a word while others believe
it was tainted in 2004 when Rush Limbaugh started using the word “feminazi.”
Additionally, some people think that equality between the sexes has largely
been achieved so there is no longer a need for such a word. However, if
equality has been achieved between the sexes, Darsh argues, why do we still
live in a rape culture, why do we still have political discussions about the
gender pay gap, and why does gendercide still occur? Darsh submits that while
many females do not want to be labeled with the word “feminist”, the need for
the word itself or a replacement word still exists.
In fact, the need, in my opinion, is becoming more and
more crucial by the day. Darsh wrote that article well before the Elliot
Rodgers killing spree, well before the latest case in Boston this past Sunday
evening where a woman in the Boston area was raped by a three time convicted
rapist http://www.bostonglobe.com/metro/2014/06/01/level-sex-offender-breaks-into-arlington-house-rapes-woman/hiJHhSsdzlMfOyGdxCZsoK/story.html,
well before the news story on Iraq debating the marriage of men to 9 year old
girls was released http://www.npr.org/blogs/parallels/2014/05/13/312160466/iraq-debates-law-that-would-allow-men-to-marry-9-year-old-girls
and well before the gang rape and hangings of two teenage girls in Delhi http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/jun/03/india-gang-rape-family-threats.
If I am afraid to be labeled a feminist, what other word should I be using? As
Darsh points out in her article, if you go to thesaurus.com and search for a
synonym, your search will be returned with “no results found.” Is it just
semantics? Should I stop worrying so much about one little word? Should I just
shut up? Or should I just stop being afraid and start labeling myself as such?
3 comments:
I honestly had a difficult time responding to this post because my mind went into a million different directions. In addition to "feminist" now having the several negative connotations that you mentioned ("feminazi", "harsh"), other female demographics reject it. Some women that are passionate about women's role in the world reject "feminist" because the word has become mostly associated with white, heterosexual, mid-upper class, able-bodied women. Hence the womanist movement...black feminist...queer...etc. Heck, some social constructionists reject the notion of binary gender all together, which makes it even more difficult to find the language to represent what it is that we are challenging.
I think that you are right- we are still searching for a word that accurately encompasses our beliefs. "Feminist" is loaded with baggage and history. But too often, once we do find a word, we find that it leaves the voices of another demographic out. So then we are left with trying to use a word like "egalitarian" which is significant, but is almost so broad that it cannot focus on the specific issues of which we are concerned. It's a clash of ideologies- how are we SPECIFIC enough that we can address tangible concerns, but how do we make it BROAD enough that we do not continue to oppress others?
I personally do not have a problem with using the word "feminist" to describe myself--though acknowledging the negative connotations that the word carries and understanding why some groups and have splintered off from “Feminism” and choose to describe themselves using other carefully constructed language. I understand the power of language and that the labels we use to describe ourselves or that we affix to others can be damaging and oppressive. That said, I've never had much of an internal conflict with using labels/words to describe who I am to other people—especially when there are no better options available. Not to be too insensitive, but sometimes I just have to roll my eyes when people say things like “I just can’t be described with words, man! I just can’t put labels on things…I’m just such a free spirit…” Well then, I guess we’ll just have to use brain-wave telepathy to have this conversation, since we haven’t yet invented a language perfectly suited to your particularities!
"Progressive", "Feminist", "Activist”--none of these words perfectly describe the intricacies and variances of my personality. No person can or will fit the (often conflicting) criteria that tag along with such words. But, as we humans tend to communicate with words, they are sometimes just helpful and practical in describing ourselves to one another, even if they aren’t a perfect fit. "Feminist" is shorter and has a sweet simplicity not found in "Well, I’m sort of a third wave-cultural-standpoint-egalitarian-eco-womanist hybrid..." or something of that sort. “Feminist” is less elitist and academic—-more populist, maybe—-and makes for easier expression of ideas. Or, maybe my preference for brevity here is just an excuse not to have the long, intimate conversations that would be necessary to truly describe every facet of my belief system to another person. Worthwhile, but certainly time consuming.
Further, choosing not to label oneself as a Feminist doesn’t mean that others will not go ahead and do so for you—-or that you’re really hiding something about yourself just by declining to embrace the term. As I read this post, I found echoes of my own thoughts and viewpoints embedded here and there. I went ahead and labeled you as a feminist (or perhaps, had I belong to another community, I might have claimed you as one of “us” or stuck you in the “them” category), and probably would have done so even if you hadn’t used the word, just based on your display of characteristics which I think fit that label. I think this is natural, and that try as we might not to put people into categories based on our impressions of them, we do it anyway. It is part of the process humans use to form communities. We use what we know to be true about the world to formulate our reactions to the situations we encounter. What defines us is whether or not we can look past those labels and categorizations, realizing that they are not all-encompassing, to the person behind them—-and frankly, even if I behave in a way that I believe is true to my own moral code, I can’t stop you from thinking that I am a crazy-liberal-whatever-the-buzz-word-of-the-day-is.
I think the labeling or the word is not necessarily the part we should be concerned with, but the part that comes after that--the part where you sit down and talk about what you believe, and why, and why not, and whether you agree or disagree with someone else. The conversation is the important part. The descriptor is just an opening to that conversation—it’s up to you to decide where it goes from there. Can we as a society learn to come together and have rational, productive conversations, even if in the end we have to agree to disagree?
Sorry--very long winded. I enjoy reading the blog!
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