Not All Men...But Many...Too Many

"Well girls keep that in mind the next time you friend zone somebody. "

"I hope you women see this as a lesson stop being so stuck up and give that one kid some pussy who never gets shit and you might save a life smdfh this nigga could've saved his life if only one of you dumb cunts could of [sic] given him some sweetness."

"See girls this is what you get for treating nice guys like shit."

These are actual comments that were made, presumably by men although I cannot validate that, following Elliot Rodgers' homicidal rampage which was motivated, in good part, by his hatred of women.   I haven't read the entire manifesto Rodgers authored nor have I watched the entirety of his video. However, what I have been able to glean is that Rodgers was pissed off because he was still a virgin at age 22 and didn't perceive women to be interested in him. He blamed women for his "miserable lonliness" and hated men for having women.  Rodgers' rantings sparked much controversy and comment.  The #YesAllWomen movement was born wherein anectdotal evidence suggests that yes, all women deal with some form of misogyny on a daily basis.  A corresponding movement "Not All Men," was also born to show not all men held beliefs similar to Rodgers. I agree that not all men hold such beliefs but I will argue that  many do....too many. This is evidenced by the fact that there was also support and even pity for "poor little" Elliot Rodgers--as if being a 22 year old virgin was a sentence worse than death. I have highlighted a few comments from supporters above. 

Here's the thing that keeps pissing me off and it's controversial so you are forewarned. No one, man or woman, is entitled to sex. I'm sick of people thinking they can't possibly be happy if they aren't getting screwed 3 times a week or haven't had 10 sex partners by the time they are 20. If I were a man, I would be downright angry that my manhood was defined by how many people I put my penis into. It reduces a man to his cock's activity and quite frankly, it's a really poor judge of a man. Likewise though,  I'm sick of women being valued primarily for their fuckability.  If men weren't defined by sexual prowess, maybe women could be valued for other qualities. I guess I'm sick of the power of the pussy. Really, I don't think sex is a bad thing...I'm not some frigid bitch. However, whenever we let one thing define us, we do so at our own peril.

So for the supporters of Rodgers twisted beliefs, here is what I have to say: First, define your manhood differently. You have all the power in the world so don't expect me to feel sorry for you when you can't live up to the lethario image you have mandated for your gender.  Second, quit devaluing friendships and other forms of non sexual relationships. Third, don't tell women to fuck a lunatic because it might prevent a crime. I don't care how many times a lunatic gets laid. He will still be a lunatic. Trust me, I know because I have screwed some lunatics and might have even been one myself at one time and sex does not cure craziness. Rodgers was either mentally ill which sex won't cure or he was a misogonist. You can't have it both ways. Fourth, to the person who wrote the comment containing "COULD OF." It is "could have" or "could've" NOT "could of." Perhaps you should focus on improving yourself instead of looking for a scapegoat in all the women who didn't show an interest in your ignorance. Fifth, nice guys may get treated like shit. I won't dispute that because it cannot be studied unless you can empirically define a person as a "nice guy," and measure how he gets treated. However, I have to put the focus back on (not all, but many) men for creating the conditions that produce women who think they deserve to be treated like crap. When you grow up with the messages of "you arent good enough," or "you're too stupid to make your own decisions," you arent going to later in life, unless you have had a lot of counseling, all of a sudden decide you deserve to be treated well. If you are treated poorly as a child, tween,  teen and young adult, as a woman, your trauma infused brain will seek out the same.  Trauma seeks out trauma. Trauma attracts more trauma. It's called the nuerobiology of trauma and few people truly understand its impacts on the brain. And finally, Elliot Rodgers wasn't a child. And he may have been mentally ill but let's not underscore he was also a mysognist.  Had he done and said what he did about blacks or gays or Muslims, it would've been a hate crime. But since he hated women, we refer to him as a child with a mental illness.  Let's call it what it is, John Q. Public. 

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