Pip

As I mentioned in my last blog, someday I am going to write a book about all the lessons I have learned through my children and how they can be applied to “grownup” problems. Here is another vignette for you until then.

Often, I talk with my sisters about calling people out on their bullshit or when they do something for which they need to be held accountable. It would not be a rare occasion for us to get fairly spirited saying something like, “yeah, call that *expletive* out!” Additionally, in a recent workplace training on creating a compassionate work environment, I answered one of the instructor’s inquiry on how to do so by saying that people who do not act in compassionate ways should be “called out.” 

More recently, however, I attended a training for my victim advocacy during which the facilitator was talking about how we should work to not call people out but rather to call people in. This portion of his talk really struck me. It made sense to me in the way that he explained it and even just thinking it through in my head but I did not really see it in a real-life example until my four-year modeled it…

One night during this last month Larry and I were arguing and nitpicking with each other after a long day at work. Who the hell knows what it was about. It was probably something silly and due to the stress of the year, the pandemic, the holidays, who knows. We never argue in depth in front of the kids but for small disputes, we have never hid the fact that we have disagreements. 

After dinner, I took the kids up for a bath. I think Larry was taking longer than normal to come upstairs to assist and so LJ asked me where he was. I told him he was taking a long time because he was “being a pip.” A pip is our word for being a little irritable or difficult to get along with for the moment. LJ did not ask any more questions and instead said, “I’m going to go get him.” He went downstairs, got him, and stayed by his side the rest of the night. As soon as he brought him upstairs he asked to read a book with him and said, “I love you, daddy.” It is a bit difficult to put into words because in writing this it somewhat just sounds like typical four-year-old behavior. But it wasn’t – LJ was calmer and sweeter. You could tell that he knew that daddy was being a pip and probably needed extra attention instead of just being “called out.”

As an adult, I would have and was tempted to tell him to hurry up and get his bum upstairs and to quit acting like a pip! My four year old knew better – often when someone is “acting out” they need more attention. And when someone does need to be “called out” on their behavior, you may get a better response if rather you “call them in”…or upstairs to snuggle, read a book, and tell them that you love them.

Be Kind

Someday I am going to write a book about all the lessons I have learned through my children and how they can be applied to “grownup” problems. Until then, you will have to continue reading my blogs.

About 6 weeks ago, Adeline was riding with LJ in their battery-powered John Deere tractor. For almost every day during quarantine, they have tooled around in it together with LJ always driving and Adeline putting her feet up and enjoying the ride. They have utilized it so much that the plastic tires are bare. On this particular day, LJ stopped in the middle of our cul-de-sac and Adeline went spilling out the side. I heard LJ proclaim “Zsa Zsa!”, his nickname for her, and then Adeline got up and came running to me with blood streaming from her mouth. She hardly ever cries but she cried for almost an hour straight after the incident. She would not close her mouth and I was worried that one of her front teeth knocked loose. Thank goodness, her mouth healed quickly and there was no damage to her teeth.

 

For the next week or so I found myself following her around the house saying “be careful!” or “slow down!” or “don’t jump” or “don’t run!” or some other phrase because I was anxious she was going to bump her mouth again and either aggravate her wounds or knock her tooth loose for real. The night OF the incident, she and LJ were running around the house doing a gymnastics routine which consisted of flipping on a bar, running a lap, and then doing a forward roll. My anxiety was through the roof. “Adeline, slow down!” “Adeline, be careful!”

About a week after that, Grandma and Grandpa announced that they had gotten Adeline her own battery-powered Jeep for Christmas. She has talked about having a jeep for over a year, points out every Jeep on our drives and runs, and yet I seriously considered telling them not to give it to her because of her run-in with the pavement weeks before.

At some point, I realized how ridiculous I was being. I cannot run around trying to keep my kids from injuring themselves. Sure, I could have eliminated all battery-powered toys from our outside toy arsenal and put a ban on all gymnastics routines inside of our house but then what message would I be sending? To tell a toddler not to run or jump is like telling them not to be a kid. They NEED this for physical development and for body/spatial awareness.

I thought back to some of the best advice I had received as a parent. It is less helpful to tell your child “Be careful!” which may be well intentioned but sends a vague message to your child that everything around them could be dangerous and is just generally uninspiring. For example, if a child is navigating over uneven terrain while on a walk in the woods, simply telling her to “be careful” may send the message that everything on this walk in the woods is scary and dangerous. On the other hand, if you say something more specific like, “Do you see those rocks right there? They could be slippery,” or “Do you see how some tree roots are sticking out? Keep your eye on them.” This is more inspiring because it conveys the message that you are confident in your child to know risks and to take them AND it lets them know that they do have some control over what could be dangerous.

So, how does this relate to my idea of writing a book about how lessons learned through my children can be applied to grownup problems? Well, a phrase has snuck into our vocabulary during this pandemic that really bothers me. People depart in person saying it, they sign their emails with it, and they end meetings with it. The phrase is, “BE SAFE” and I cannot stand it. This is the adult version of shouting to our children, “Be careful!” It is a well-intentioned phrase with potentially negative effects. This is not a post to debate the pandemic. I do believe and follow guidance that we should be wearing masks, distancing, and taking other measures to mitigate the effects of COVID-19. However, we already live in a society where anxiety is the most commonly diagnosed mental health disorder. Telling people to “Be safe.” sends the message the world is nothing but a scary place. What does “be safe” even mean? If everyone took the phrase “be safe” to heart, we would never do anything. Life is full of risks. Falling in love is a risk, having a child is a risk, starting a business is a risk, speaking up in a meeting is a risk, investing in the stock market is a risk, etc etc etc. Yes, I do believe in the intention of the phrase “be safe” but I would suggest we start using something else that sends less of a vague and uninspiring message. 

What if we said, “Be kind.” instead? What if we said, “Becompassionate.” instead? Be kind/compassionate to others and their decisions around the pandemic, be kind/compassionate to others who may have fared differently in their physical and mental health over the last 10 months, be kind/compassionate as we head into more unknowns for the next six months. Be kind to the old man who has decided to go back to the YMCA to exercise in order to improve his failing mental health. Be compassionate to the woman who has an autoimmune disease and has requested to work from home until there is a vaccine. Yes, you could argue the phrase “be kind” or “be compassionate” is vague as well, but in general, it sends a positive message and if we have people being “generally kind or compassionate”, that is still probably a good thing!

I am not sure if we should choose this phrase over the phrase “Be safe.” I am open to suggestions!  Maybe I need to just accept that the phrase annoys me and move on. If you think I am a whacko and think using “Be safe” is the way to go, I’d love to hear that opinion, too! 

Until I hear from you, be kind and compassionate, friends. And let your children have battery-powered toys and do gymnastics routines. LOVE!

 

Holy Interruptions

This isn’t the blog post I intended to write this weekend. I had planned on writing a reflective piece about grief and 2020 as it is a topic that has been weighing heavily on my mind the last couple of days.

I will still write that post (potentially the next time I write), but it will not be the post that I’m writing this weekend. You see, it’s 9:21 on Sunday evening, and I am just now starting my blog post. I had wanted to start composing it earlier this weekend, but this weekend has been a straight up clusterf*ck.

Essentially, it’s been one interruption and chaotic event after another this weekend for the majority of my family. It started on Thursday evening when my car was stolen. I won’t go into the entire story here, but suffice to say, that event was a huge interruption on both my- and other people’s- lives. Because my car was stolen, I was not able to accomplish the work that I needed to do that evening, and I lost several of my intimate possessions. It was, clearly, an interruption on my finances and career. Additionally, I had to call my father to come get me, and then he waited with me while we talked to the police. His life was interrupted trying to help me. Then, because of security reasons, I stayed at my older sister’s house this weekend, and she had to give me food and rides. Her life was interrupted. Moreover, because my phone was in my car, I didn’t have any sort of way to communicate with everyone I needed to collaborate with. So, I had to borrow my nephew’s phone for a day. His life was interrupted. And then, if enough people weren’t involved already, my mom came down on Friday, and she spent a significant amount of time taking me to get a new driver’s license and a rental car. Her life was interrupted.

And then today, just when the consequences of my car fiasco started to abate, I received a frantic call from my nephew (the same one whose phone I had borrowed until I got a new one running). He was frantic and in tears, and he hysterically explained that he cut himself on a knife. He was bleeding everywhere and he was deathly afraid. I was in the middle of working and had to pull over so I could talk with him. I did my best to calm him and talk with him, but when he showed me the blood and the gash on his finger, I knew he needed medical care. However, I was in Ankeny, and it would take me too long to get to his house. So, I called my father, and he went to take him to the hospital until dissident daughter Jill, his mother, could meet them there. More interruptions for all of us this evening to care for my nephew and his accident.

Ay yi yi. It was a tough weekend in many ways. And yet- while I don’t particularly love the idea of interruptions- I AM learning to embrace the holiness that comes with them. Despite the fear and exhaustion from these various layers of interruption, there is so much grace and connection in these moments. I mean, the cart theft alone was one hell of a story that I was able to share with others and laugh about. I appreciate the extra time I was able to have talking over coffee with my mom, sister, niece, and nephew because I spent the night with them. Those casual, intimate moments are the substance of life and relationships. I also enjoyed the extra hours of lounging I gave myself this weekend after dealing with the stress of having so much stolen from me.  And, finally, I absolutely love that my nephew trusted me enough to call me tonight to ask for help when he didn’t know what to do.

There is so much holiness and grace to be found in these interrupted moments that do not go according to plan. These moments give us connection, insight, humor, and appreciation that we may not have experienced otherwise. Moreover, they highlight the incredible interconnectedness and mutuality that need to define our social communities. These concepts sound so simple and obvious, and yet, we humans often fail at reciprocity. I love that my 12 year old nephew let me borrow his phone, and only 2 days later, I was able to embody the bi-directional relationship exchange by supporting him in return.  

Interruptions are holy, and we can experience that transcendence if we look for it and allow it.

Of course, I also don’t want to wax poetic about these experiences as though they are completely positive and without challenges. Let me be clear- to be “holy,” does not mean that something is “pure” and “without fault.” A definition of holy that assumes it means “unsullied” is one that is- quite frankly- naïve. For an experience to be holy, rather, is simply to notice how the presence of God is able to proliferate and be felt despite the unfortunate aspects of the context.

There ARE undeniably negative consequences from some of the clusterf*ck this past week. I’m going to take a financial hit with everything I have to replace in my car, and it’s happening at a horrible time as I’m a month away from closing on my first house. My father was not able to accomplish everything he needed and wanted to this weekend because he was running all over helping us amidst the chaos. He is retired and lives close by, so we lean on his time often to help us out. Additionally, my nephew was in significant pain as he cut his finger, and he was scared by the amount of blood that the cut caused.

There are negative, challenging, and tough experiences when life is interrupted, and we do ourselves – and others- a disservice when we try to pretend that every event is sunshine and roses. However, what I DO want to encourage all of us to do is to look for the “holiness” that occurs within and despite the shittiness of life. I promise you- it is always there- and it will lift you up and keep you moving forward.

Thanks, everyone, for helping me with my interruptions. I felt loved, and the incident is already very manageable and comical with only 3 days hindsight. That’s what holiness does for us. 

Get What You Want

“You deserve to have what you want, not just what you need.” Recently my girlfriend told this to me,  as I refused to go back into Little Caesars to ask for ranch that would definitely enhance the taste of the $5 pizza. Yes, much like many of our conversations, something as insignificant as ranch sparked an authentic and meaningful conversation. I went to Little Caesars on Veteran’s Day to get the free lunch special. On the way there I was telling my girlfriend how this was the first Veteran’s Day I actually capitalized on the free food perk because normally I would feel bad, or think that obtaining free food on this day wasn’t truly necessary. I decided to indulge in the free food this year because I wanted to share the experience and free food with her.

When we got there I ordered the lunch special, but forgot to ask for ranch. I went back out to the car and my girlfriend reminded me that I usually ate ranch with my pizza and asked if I wanted to get some. I hesitantly responded no and she questioned why, as it’s rare I don’t eat pizza with ranch. I responded and said, “Well, I don’t really need the ranch.” She pondered why that actually mattered and continued to push me on my thinking with a series of questions. She also pointed out that it is very frequent that I don’t partake in something because I don’t “need” it or that I’m often placing other’s needs and wants in front of my own.

I reflected on her questions and pushes in relation to other experiences. I felt bad buying my jeep in 2017 because I didn’t “need” a new vehicle. I always proactively offer to ride in the back seat of family trips and sleep on the couch because I can “handle” being uncomfortable. I felt hesitant to move out of the shared 8 bedroom house into a nice two bedroom apartment in San Jose because the 8 bedroom house was still “livable.” I grew up in a household where you were always planning or saving for the next worst thing to happen. Why buy something nice when you may regret it later if your water pipes burst? Why spend the extra money on dessert when you can be full without it? Why get a treat at the theme park when you could easily pack a lunch to eat outside of the park beforehand?

Although I am talking about this in a financial context right now, this mindset has also been adaptable to other areas of my life. Stay at the job even though you’re miserable because you may not find a new one. Don’t embrace the vulnerability of a relationship because you may get hurt. Don’t hang out with educated and affluent circles because you come from Podunk, Iowa. My sisters and I have referenced this mindset a lot in our conversations, as this mindset is an indirect result of our upbringing. We call it the “scarcity mindset.” The scarcity mindset is the mindset that tells you there will never be enough. There will never be enough money, food, shelter, love, resources, life, etc. This mindset is a nagging fear that prohibits you from obtaining what you truly want because it’s not truly what you need. You are surviving and that’s all that’s important. Heaven forbid you splurge, or treat yourself, and then regret it later when the next anticipated and terrible thing happens to you.

When my girlfriend told me, “You deserve to have what you want, not just what you need,” I got teary eyed because that was the first time in 27 years has anyone ever told me that. She asked me if I believed that, and the reality of it is, I do believe that, but I was never quite sure anyone else did. 

Music to My Ears

There’s just something about hearing that song on the radio. You know the one…and there’s always more than one. You could play it on your smart phone, or computer any time…but when it comes on the radio, unsolicited, it feels like this moment was made just for you. Personally, music has gotten me through many a challenging time and sparked or heightened many a good time. It is in that vein of thought that I am posting about music…because I think we all are facing challenging times right now and maybe a musical interlude in our lives can provide some joy, spark some memories, offer solidarity, or even make us dance.

Research demonstrates that listening to music can reduce anxiety, blood pressure, and pain, as well as improve sleep quality, mood, mental alertness, and memory (I knew there was a justification for all of the money I’ve spent on concerts!). Music also creates feelings of cohesion and social connectedness. Music bonds us. We all probably remember our high school or college school songs, have shared "our" song with a romantic partner, been sung to and sang to children at bedtime (I know I still remember my dad’s eclectic bed time collection that included Country Roads by John Denver and It’s Too Late by Carol King…and that, for better or worse, has now been sung to another generation), and have those summers, events, and seasons of life where a specific song was the soundtrack for that period of time (I'm looking at you, Shut Up and Dance and Somebody Told Me).

I am on the Wellness Committee at work. I chose music for our November Wellness newsletter for just the reasons I listed above. I came across a 30 day music playlist challenge that made me excited and happy and I wanted to share it with all of you. I want to see what playlist my sisters put together and I would love to see what you, our readers, put together, too, if you're willing to share. I'm looking forward to putting mine together and listening the shit out of it on my walks - both help me put "the real world" outside of my head for a while, help me remember good times and special people throughout my life. Even the songs that evoke tears remind me of all I am grateful for, the beautiful souls I have and have had in my life, and can remind me that yes, this, too, shall pass.

One of my favorite music memories is my sisters and I, my dad, and my niece and nephew road tripping down to Idaho to see my dad's old fire station for his 70th birthday. We all took turns picking a song, playing them on my blue tooth speaker, and singing along. We kept track of what we picked and in what order so we could make a playlist of that trip. As you can imagine, with the ages ranging from five to 70 and everywhere in between, we had quite the mix! I still think of that time whenever I hear The Lion Sleeps Tonight or Spirits by the Strumbellas.

I hope you enjoy this - even if reading it makes you just think of the songs you might pick - it's guaranteed to spark a memory, inspire a smile or laugh, make you dance, and maybe provide some sweet relief from the current shit show we are all living in and enduring (doesn't look like it's going anywhere soon so keep your playlists handy!).

Your go-to karaoke song.	Song you like with a color in the title.	Song off the first album you ever purchased.	Song you like with a number in the title.	Song that reminds you of someone special.
Song that reminds you of summertime.	Song you can’t help but dance to.	Song that needs to be played loudly.	Song by a band you wish were still together.	Song to drive to.
Favorite song from the 80’s.	Song that makes you happy.	Song from a movie.	Song that makes you sad.	Favorite cover song by another artist.
Song you never get tired of.	Song you know every word to.	Song that reminds you of your teen years.	Favorite power ballad.	Song you like from the 70’s.
Song from the year you were born.	Song that makes you feel motivated.	Song that makes you think about life.	Favorite song from a musical.	Song you like with a person’s name in the title.
Your newest favorite song.	Song that moves you forward.	The ultimate road trip song.	Song you think everyone should listen to.	Song that reminds you of a school dance.

In case you want a longer play list, add these songs, too!

Song you like by an artist no longer living.

Favorite song from the 90's.

Song that breaks your heart.

Song your parents always played.

Song by an artist whose voice you love.

Song that makes you feel relaxed.

Song that reminds you of yourself.

Favorite duet/remix.

Your most played song this year.

Song you never get bored of.

Your guilty pleasure song.

A tale of two hamsters, five fish and two cats...

Hey all! So I am not in the mood to reflect on anything really all that deep right now.  In fact, I don’t want to think about much these days.  So this post is going to be slightly corny and light hearted, not like my usual ramblings.  For those of you that know me, I was never much of a pet person. I love animals and care very deeply about preservation of wild animals and treating all animals humanely. Some of you may recall that I am the adopted mother of a fine manatee who lives in Florida named Georgia.  However, when it comes to domesticated pets, I have never really owned any pets and never really expected to either.  I guess I always felt like my lifestyle was not very conducive to additional responsibility because I tend to be gone for long periods of time either because of work or travel or who knows what.  I really do live life by the seat of my pants most of the time.  So I ALWAYS told my two kids we were NEVER going to have a pet.  You would think that by now whenever I say I am never going to do something I usually end up doing it at some point but I still haven’t learned my lesson apparently.  Anyway, around December, one of my friends somehow managed to convince me that Brookie needed a hamster for Christmas.  I was against it initially because I didn’t even understand the point of having a hamster. I relented because my friend did make a few good points about how it would teach responsibility and foster a love of animals.  That is how I came to find myself inside of a PetSmart – a store I had actually never been in before – looking at Hamsters.  I know its corny but I felt really happy signing the hamster adoption papers and taking that little thing home in a cardboard box.  It was the first pet I had ever purchased.  But I still wasn’t entirely sure about the whole concept.  I thought hamsters honestly just slept in their cages 90% of the time.  That thought to be continued…. But for now, back to Christmas of 2019, if Brooklyn was getting a pet, that meant Trevor had to get something as well.  I didn’t want to two hamsters (not yet – some foreshadowing for you there) so next thing I knew, I was buying a fish tank.  I went from zero pets to six pets if you count all the fish in a day.  

For reasons that I’d rather not discuss in this blog, after Christmas, the next few months were a little rough for me and the fam.  Eventually, it became obvious we needed to find a house to live in as a family.  Fortunately, before all of the COVID shit hit the fan, I was able to find a decent house in the kids’ school district.  We moved literally the week before COVID started to dominate everything and everyone.  Again, without getting into the specifics, it was sort of a rough transition for all of us.  During the tumultuous transition period, at one point, my daughter, Brooklyn – who also goes by Brookie – told me that it would be great if we could get a cat when we moved.  Not thinking too hard about it because I was distracted AF, I said something to the effect of, “I will think about it.”  However, what I said and what Brookie heard were two different things.  Brookie apparently heard that I had definitively committed to getting a cat.  She literally started telling everyone that we were getting a cat when we moved into the new house.  She really out smarted me there as I totally felt obligated once she had told pretty much all of her friends and extended family the news.  So once again, in March, I found myself shopping for yet another pet.  I took the kids to the Animal Rescue Leagueand Trevor, my son, immediately found the cat he wanted.  As I examined the card, however, it turned out this particular cat, named Cherish, had a “bonded buddy,” which meant you had to adopt the cats a pair.  Well, you can guess what happened.  Yep, that day I took two cats home – Cherish and her buddy, January.  So now I was up to one hamster, five fish and two cats in a matter of months.  Initially, January was a real asshole cat.  I had to sign a behavior waiver to even take her home because of her constant need to hiss at people when they got too close to her.  But by God, those were the cats my kids wanted and so of course, I signed the waiver without a second thought.  The cats hid for months and January, who earned the nickname Crabby or Crabs, never stopped hissing during those two months as well. I began to seriously question why I had ever agreed to become a cat owner.  But seeing my children try so hard to get the cats to like them and to come out, warmed my heart.  My son would spend hours in the basement trying to get the cats to come play.  My daughter would read facts about cats on the Internet to try to understand their body language.  How could I possibly regret getting cats if my kids were already so happy and excited?  There was no way.  So now that I had violated my rule of no pets this far, it made perfect sense when I found myself picking out another hamster for Trevor’s birthday.  By this time, I had fallen in love with June – the original hamster I purchased for my daughter.  I came to learn June had a personality, she liked pumpkin seeds and sunflower seeds and would run and run in her wheel for hours.  Brooklyn actually took June out quite often and we held her and played with her for hours.  I don’t know exactly when, but at some point, it became not weird at all to give June a kiss.  Nope, wasn’t weird at all after everything else I had done.  So on Trevor’s birthday, we picked out yet another hamster. This time, we chose a winter white hamster who is now named Winnie.  So in April, we became a two cat, two hamster and five fish household.  Winnie has a completely different personality from June.  Winnie is a little lazy, a little timid, a little shy.  June is ballsy and bold.  And I love them both.  They are out of their cages a lot and love getting treats. They run around my kitchen table and explore pretty much whatever is around. At some point we came to realize that most cages you buy at a pet store are too small for hamsters who require space to burrow, nest and tunnel.  So it made complete sense when I, the person who would never own pets, decided to hand build two hamster cages that would essentially be the Hilton of hamster cages.  Let’s just say the entire endeavor involved me buying a Dremel, chicken wire and zip ties.  I still don’t really know how to use the Dremel but this asshole figured it out long enough to get those cages built.  So now the hamsters have larger cages, a million toys and two kids and one adult who loves them.  I also love the cats and hell, I might even love the damn fish at this point.  

So to bring shit back to the present, I have to say, however, that while 2020 may be a complete shit show in a lot of ways, having those pets has really been a bright spot in the midst of the pandemic.  It has also made me rethink using the word “never.”  I was so adamant that pets would be an extra burden I could not take on and yet they have actually made our lives better.  I never knew it was possible to love a hamster but I swear to you, I love both of those little rodents.  The cats still dislike me and probably always will.  My sisters joke it is because we are in fight for the Alpha female title in the house – haha – but I think it is because I had to take them to the vet and I haven’t spent hours giving them treats like the kids have.  Whatever it is, I am amazed at how far the cats have come.  Cherish and January both let the kids snuggle with them, pet them, play with them and hug them.  Crabby aka January no longer hisses at me which I consider a win.  They no longer hide and have really made huge strides since March.  In reflecting on all of this, I am glad I have all the pets that I do and I never thought I would say that.  I think it is a good lesson to learn about speaking in absolutes and closing yourself off to potential possibilities based on preconceived notions or opinions that aren’t really supported by anything.  I think it also shows that sometimes good things don’t always come easily or can be found in unexpected places.  The other point this brings up is that sometimes we don’t always know what is best and we have to be open to change.  I could never have predicted I would love two hamsters or that two cats or five fish would make my children (and me) so happy. My hope for today and for the rest of my life, is that I can be open to what the universe puts in front of me – comfortable or not.  If we aren’t uncomfortable or reaching outside what we are accustomed to, are we really growing?  And if we aren’t really growing, then are we missing out on what the universe might be presenting to us?  I am not always happy, I can tend to be melancholy.  But lately, I am learning that just being open to possibilities presents doors I never knew existed, and when those doors are opened, the fact is that your life can be changed in an unpredictable yet beautiful way. I’m learning to take more risk, even when it means I can be hurt. I try to remember that most people are confined... “They limit themselves to fewer possibilities by the narrowness of their vision.” - V.S. Naipaul. My wish for myself and everyone is that today and every day, we can start opening ourselves to the unexpected, unplanned and unanticipated. The color of my life is so much brighter when I do. Love, Jill

Ladder

I believe life is all about cycles, seasons, and phases. Right now I’m hard core in the mom phase so a lot of the insights I have come from my children. It is pretty amazing even though exhausting as well. I am trying to focus on progress over perfection these days so this will be a short blog today. I’d rather share a short story now than a perfected piece way past when my sisters expected me to post. :)

LJ is four years old now and most days he can get through the day without a nap and not be a complete bear by bedtime. However, we still make him go in his room for “nap time” so that we can have some down time ourselves. Anyway, this past weekend he went into his room for nap time with a bit of a struggle. He wanted to play with some loud toy that I did not want him to play with so I took it away from him and put it on top of his bookshelf where he cannot reach. He stayed in his room about two hours like he usually does and I could hear him playing on the monitor the entire time. He usually flips through books, plays with some random toys, talks to himself, etc.

When it was time to get up, I went into his room to change him back into play clothes and he directed my attention to a stack of books by his bookshelf. “Mama, look what I did! I made a ladder so that I could reach my toy.” He was referring to the toy that I had put on top of the bookshelf before nap time so that he could not reach it. As I looked at the “ladder” that he had made (picture below), I thought it looked a little unsteady and was amazed that he was actually able to get his toy. However, when I looked closer, I could see that the top book was wedged just perfectly under one of the shelves to make it more stable – he had built it just tall enough and found the perfect final book to tuck under the shelf for stability. I couldn’t even be mad that he had gotten the toy that he was not supposed to be playing with! I was in awe of his creativity and ingenuity!

Almost a week later and I am still thinking of his book “ladder.” How can I apply this creativity and grit in my own life?! What would it look like for an adult who is told they cannot do something, to build a “book ladder” and reach it anyway?! What goals or ambitions do you have that someone has told you may be unachievable or unreachable? How can you say “F You, I’ll build a book ladder and reach it by myself?”!! Here’s to building our own book ladders, one step errrr book at a time…