Arrogant. 

Intense. 

Masculine.

I oftentimes cannot understand why these words are used to describe me, when for me, they seem to be a state of simplistic normalcy. And if they are a state of simplistic normalcy, why do I always feel so insecure and offended when someone describes me as such?

Am I arrogant or am I just a woman that holds herself with a strong presence and confidence? Would you even think to call me arrogant had my gender been the other? You see, it is my "arrogance" that allows me to speak up in a room full of dissonance. It is my "arrogance" that encourages me to do and be the things I want to do and be, even if they are contrary to popular opinion. It is my "arrogance" that gives me the courage to showcase my skills and be "good" at things women may not usually be perceived to be good at. Am I arrogant? Or are you just intimidated by the fact that you have nothing to teach me as a man? Am I arrogant? Or am I just not a feeble woman inquiring and grasping for your help?

Am I intense or am I just a young, passionate and hungry soul? I do not think I have ever heard a man be described as "intense" unless it has been for an athletic endeavor or business move. The same intensity which is too much for you is the same intensity that keeps me young and vibrant. I lift heavy things and I run really fast. The same intensity which is annoying to you is the same intensity that drives me to influence and create change that benefits the world and others. And the same intensity in which is an intrusion to your own comfortableness is the same intensity which sustains my hunger. My hunger to travel the world, love deeply, learn about different cultures, meet 1000s of new faces and reflect on my own interactions and impacts they have on humanity. Am I intense? Or am I just not as quiet or soft as you would like me to be? Am I intense? Or do I just give a damn about more than how my cleavage looks in the blouse I wear out?

Am I masculine or do I just fall outside of our binary gender norms? I guess this question has already been answered with the contents of my previous two paragraphs. I never quite understood why many describe me as masculine. It didn't make sense that to be confident, bold, outspoken and strong were qualities only a man could exhibit. To me, these were qualities that made me, me. Because I can lead, and lead quite well. Because I can project my voice rather loudly. Because I can manage the difficulty of physical labor without complaint. Because I can pay for my own meal and hold the door open for myself. Because I do not let you talk over me. Because I can clap back just as quickly as you can. Because I am more than just an accessory to your own success. Because I am all of that, I am masculine. Am I masculine? Or do I just keep up with you? Am I masculine? Or are you just intimidated? 

I see how each of these qualities are used to describe a woman negatively more often than not. And I also see how these qualities are actually positive attributes that have benefited me in more ways than I can count. I see how society masks their sexism in the form of a skeptical or condescending description, and yet, why is it that I still get so insecure and offended when I hear these three words used to describe my person? Why is it that the qualities that I love about myself are simultaneously the ones in which I hate about myself? 

Perhaps it's because I am so much more than those three attributes. I am "arrogant," yet I am very thoughtful, loving, nurturing and reflective. I  am "intense," yet I am super invested in the causes, people and movements I support and love. I am "masculine" and I am also feminine and both are beautiful. You wouldn't see that though, would you?