There are the old standbys that remain from my childhood and there a few new ones, my favorite being in the event the likelihood for something isn't great..."The odds are slim to none and slim just left town." (From the first time I heard her say this one, I have imagined a thin cowboy in a plaid cowboy shirt, faded jeans and black cowboy hat sauntering towards his horse to head out into the sunset). She also has a certain tone and inflection of voice for these sayings (I know my sisters know exactly what I am referring to) and has annoyed (and continues to annoy) each and every one of her children with them.
As much as I don't want to admit it, I think some of the annoyance comes from the fact that her cliches are usually somewhat on target. The annoyance has grown exponentially over the years as I have found myself repeating some of them in conversations not with my mom. Growing up, I didn't think too much about what these nuggets of wisdom meant, beyond the surface. Some of them I repeat because I think they're hilarious (the biting sow will always be one of my all time faves). There is one, however, that has remained with me and become a personal and shared mantra...this too shall pass.
My friend Dave, who has been a guest blogger for Dissident Daughters, was having a shitty week. I wanted to comfort him and during the course of our texts, I told him, this too shall pass. Lo and behold, not too long after, I was going through a rough period and, as a true friend does, Dave reminded me of my sage words and told me that this too shall pass. I remember where I was sitting at the time...these words that I had said and shared frequently sort of slapped me in the face that day. They were exactly what I needed to hear at that time.
Dave and I both love and respect words and the meaning behind them. The fact that this phrase had given us both room to breathe and the wherewithal to mentally "back up" from the situations we were faced with, in such a proximate time period, prompted us to research the origin and meaning (we were both vaguely convinced it came from The Bible). What I found when I dug farther into this beautiful statement held even more power, truth and light than what I had imagined. The phrase is thought to originate from Persian Sufi poets and there is no mention of this phrase in The Bible. The meaning of the phrase was also expanded for me.
I have only heard this phrase in times when comfort is needed...the bad, the sad, the uncomfortable, the heartbreaking...this too shall pass. This is, in and of itself, enough. However, it really became a personal mantra and something for me to live by when I found that the phrase originally meant all things, things we judge to be bad and good, will pass. In addition to providing solace in times of grief, despair, sitting through The BFG in the movie theater, the adage also advises one to be aware that happiness, "success", joy, contentment, reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part Two for the first time...these things also will pass and as such, we would be wise to enjoy these moments to the fullest and remain humble and kind through our successes (as opposed to becoming prideful and puffed up with our "successes").
There have been so many pleasant and joyful surprises that have come to me as I have gotten older...one of which is that I have lived long enough to know the truth in these words. I have survived everything in my life because I am still here now. (Sounds obvious, but really think about that-I don't think we give ourselves enough credit for the events and emotions we have come through in our lives.) Every situation in my life that I was worried about taking care of or getting out of or paying for...I may not have stuck the landing for a 10.0 but I landed. When I encounter similar situations now, I repeat my mantra (realizing that it might take a while for "this" to pass) with the knowledge that it always has passed or at least become something I can bear to live with, over time.
I'm not in the job situation I want to be in right now-I love what I do and I also want more for myself. I have had to deal with the sometimes despairing, fearful emotions, financial frustrations and kicks to self confidence that come along with trying to change career trajectories. And I tell myself, when I am in the thick of it, that this too shall pass (sometimes I have to repeat it, hear it from others and wallow for a while before it sinks in but it does sink in).
This mantra has also made me more mindful of the things I enjoy and feel I have achieved success at in my life. One timely example is the success I have found in running in the past two years. I have been running since I was 20 and I have not been very good at it. I enjoy it, that's why I keep doing it (that and it keeps the crazy at a mostly socially acceptable level). After I "accidentally" qualified for the Boston Marathon, I realized I was kind of good at running, particularly for my age group and I have medaled and been acknowledged in four runs since then, the most recent of which was Loop the Lake (8km) where I got first in my age group.
I would have kept running, anyway, but my new understanding of "this too shall pass" has put an extra spring in my step, a brighter smile on my face and a new commitment to enjoy and do all of this while I can...because at some point, this too shall pass. And I am okay with that-it is the ebb and flow of life and when something leaves, it makes room for something else to take its place. Or maybe it looks a little different as it fits in to the cycle of our lives. Of course, there is sadness that accompanies some of the passings and that is also a part of the ebb and flow of life. Eventually the sadness will become a little less and a little less and someday may even turn into something else.
I got my mantra tattooed on my arm because I want to be reminded of it every day. I had it done with a symbolic representation of the lunar cycle (I have always loved the moon, la luna) because for me, the lunar cycle is a very beautiful, very real and tangible symbol of the passage of our time here on earth. Being mindful of this has, as I said, given me the gift of being present, thoughtful, joyful and grateful for the good things in my life, which has allowed me to enjoy all of these things even more.
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