Colleague: "Yeah...it's creeping Charlie and it's actually considered a weed."
I was left wondering how something so beautiful could be labeled with what has become a dirty word in our culture...weed. What was a seemingly innocuous conversation came to be another one of those defining moments that I distinctly remember. First, a little background...although I was born and raised in Iowa and have lived in this state for all but five years of my life, until I was in the Sustainable Agriculture PhD program at Iowa State, I knew little to nothing about Iowa's landscape and agriculture and clearly had paid no attention to lawns and the menacing creeping Charlie. However, I was aware of the homeowner's constant seasonal battle with the other plague on the "perfect" lawn, the dreaded dandelion.
Who decided dandelions and creeping Charlie were unacceptable inhabitants of Midwestern lawns? What child hasn't picked dandelions and presented them lovingly to their mothers and nurtured them (usually for less than 24 hours, ha ha) in a glass of water? As children, we think they are beautiful flowers. As adults in charge of meticulously cared for grass that isn't even native to the state we live in, what was once beautiful becomes the bane of an acceptable lawn's existence. I still think they are both beautiful. I think dandelions smell beautiful-on those summer days that are just warm enough to elicit the dandelions' smell and carry it on the breeze, I love breathing in the smell that reminds me of the joys of summer and evokes a feeling of nostalgia. I even think seeding dandelions are pretty (an unforgivable offense, I'm aware).
Until the point of the incident described above, I had been involved in conversations regarding the perception and definition of beings, beliefs and conclusions in our world. In one of the courses I took, I was made aware of the ridiculousness of our lawns and I could write and entire blog or book (people have) on that concept. I hadn't experienced the shock that accompanied living such a vivid contrast...I'm not trying to sound dramatic but imagine being so captivated and made happy by a thing of beauty only to be told it is defined as something that our society deems ugly and invaluable. For me, luckily this occurred with something I had little personal investment in. Let me clarify, although the larger idea of definitions and labels and judgments is a passionate one for me and one that I AM personally invested in, creeping Charlie wasn't a physical, emotional or spiritual feature I personally owned.
But what if it was? What if my "creeping Charlie moment" was the idea that light skin is prettier than dark skin or that big boobs are preferable to small ones or that women who keep their mouths shut and play nice all of the time and play a little dumb so as not to be intimidating are preferred over women who actually have a personality and opinions and have the audacity to voice them? Or that men have to be macho and not show emotion and bro friendships are based on discussing sports and women and hair is a necessity to be an attractive male and pink is okay if you wear it as a shirt now but not if you buy a pink bike or order a drink with an umbrella in it? In truth, I have had many of those moments, I just wasn't aware of what they were until I was older and exposed to enough ideas and experiences to know and understand. We are inundated with these concepts on a daily basis and many of these messages are subtle. Many of these messages are passed on by well-meaning people we look up to who haven't actually thought about the larger message they are sending.
Who decides what we are taught to see when we look at something? Who decides what judgment is made as to whether an innocuous trait, presence or belief is good or bad? What are the repercussions for living beings? What is the history of the decision making process in question? Who benefits from the definition and the judgment? Do these definitions and judgments still make sense and what are we teaching our children? One of the questions that is helpful in beginning to answer many of these other questions...who are the ubiquitous "they" usually credited with saying and doing most things we don't care to dig into deeper?
I cannot imagine my two year old niece, Brooklyn, picking dandelions or creeping Charlie for her mom and dad or grandparents and being told they are just "weeds". I can't bear to think of her receiving the message that straight hair is preferred to the beautiful, wild curls she is blessed with. I can't bear to think of her being told that she's crazy because she's a woman and she's angry about something and she dared to express it (angry while female). It makes me sick to think that my sweet, sensitive nephew Trevor, with his old soul, might be given the message that his long hair he is so proud of isn't "manly" or that he's a "girl" (the fact that this is still an insult...to be called a girl...wtf) if he wears it in a pony tail. It breaks my heart to imagine him being told he's a girl or gay or less than because he likes the color pink and chose pink soccer cleat accents (a real concern voiced by his mother) (and less than what? why is someone better because they are male and don't use the color pink? have most people actually ever questioned the ridiculousness of these ideas?). Many of these determinations differ from place to place and culture to culture and history to history. This in and of itself should tell us everything we see in front of us hasn't always been that way and the things we have been taught haven't always been believed. At the very least, as thinking beings, I would hope this would prompt us to examine what we accept and own in our own lives and belief systems.
As for me, I'm going to keep enjoying the smell and sight of "weeds" where I live...when I have a lawn I care for, it's going native, which is better for our environment and ecology and health and which I think is aesthetically more beautiful than the uniform, high maintenance short grass lawns that have become the norm in the Midwest. And I will continue to question and examine things "they" tell us and determine who benefits and who has a voice in the designations and judgments. I will continue to challenge the people I encounter to do the same and I hope that I have the fortitude to address inaccuracies, misinformation and falsehoods when I am confronted with them. In the meantime, I'm going to stop to smell the dandelions.
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