Sunday, May 15, 2015. Wake up at 6 a.m. Help husband get things packed for his competition. Let him steal my name tape from one of my uniforms. Must remember to get that back when he returns. Send husband off to week-long Army competition at 7 a.m. Watch five minutes of news and down one cup of coffee before eight-year-old Energizer Bunny on steroids wakes up jumping down the stairs three at a time. Two year old calls for Mommy shortly after. Run up stairs, grab two-year old and run downstairs because she has to potty. Throw Dora the Explorer adapter plate on toilet and put two-year-old on the toilet. Eight year old wants a movie on. Two year old wants breakfast. Put movie on and get two-year old breakfast, grab something for eight-year-old as well in anticipation of the, "Mom, I'm hungry" call that comes in five minutes. Shower while kids are eating, get kids ready for the day, finish watching movie. Meltdown No. 1 comes when I announce we have to leave for church. Throw three different snacks in purse and get kids in car. Two of the three snacks get eaten en route to church making stash dangerously low. Ponder how long the orange has been in my purse and whether it is a viable option in case of emergency. Laugh out loud at the prospect of peeling an orange during mass and dismiss it as an option even it were fresh. Arrive at church 2 minutes late which turned into ten minutes late because eight-year-old decided to climb on some rocks and two-year-old had Meltdown No. 2 when I tried to carry her. Double as a referee in church, anxiety skyrocketing as I realize we are attending both graduation mass and a baptism. Two-year-old burns through snack no. 3 - fruit snacks--and drops one on floor. Meltdown No. 3 occurs when I won't let her eat it which is ridiculous because had we not been in church I would have let her eat it off the floor. Promised to take kids mini-golfing after church so hurry to the car until the eight-year-old decides to climb on the rocks again. Ten minutes later we are on the way to mini-golf. Play mini-golf where meltdown 4 (two-year-old hits head on something) and 5 (eight-year-old couldnt get the ball to go through some stupid ass glowing spaceship) take place. Meltdown 6 happens in car because two-year-old is hungry. Eight-year-old demands mac and cheese and specifies the elbow kind of noodle so make panic decision to eat at Noodles and Company. Pay for two mac and cheeses and chocolate no white no chocolate no white milk for the kids and a pad thai for myself. Return to car and drive to library because they each got to pick an activity and the eight-year-old picked golf and the two-year-old picked the library. Eight-year-old decides to climb on top of car. Two-year-old wants to climb too so both kids end up on car. Finally arrive in the library and meet Moe and Sherba the hamsters. After playing with Legos and puppets, kids go to computer games. The two-year-old wants to type and when I try to help her she looks at me and says, "What the fuck." Heads turn except mine which looks down at my eight-year-old's shoes which he has decided to take off for some reason. Remind self I need to watch my mouth more and that I need to discuss with eight-year-old his habit of taking his shoes off wherever we go. Play games and then check out movies. Meltdown No. 7 happens because two-year-old pokes self in her eye. Meltdown 8 follows because the eight-year-old can't take the two-year-old crying and he runs out of the car. Get eight-year-old under control and soothe two-year-old who is still holding her eye and crying. Start the car and begin to drive thinking two-year-old will stop crying if we leave. Have to stop five minutes later because eight-year-old alleges he is going to puke because of all the crying which has not stopped. Decide to bribe kids with ice cream and stop at DQ where two-year-old falls asleep. Return home and watch My Little Pony and Peppa the Pig. Get supper for the kids and begin to put on movie. Movie doesn't work because the remote for the DVD player got reprogrammed somehow. Meltdown 10 comes in like a lion because I can't figure out the programming in two minutes. Twenty minutes and three Google searches later, the remote is back in business. I begin getting my lunch and dinner ready for tomorrow. Eight-year-old has soccer practice tomorrow night so I have to cook for tomorrow in advance. Two-year-old informs me she is going to pee her pants so stop what I'm doing to put on Dora adapter plate. Meltdown 9 happens when the two-year-old bawls me out for not wiping her good enough. Two-year-old rips off pants and throws self on floor. Return to packing lunch and making supper for tomorrow. Eight-year-old decides he wants chocolate milk so I throw some Nesquick in a cup and pour milk over top of it. Realize milk is at the critical stage of not having enough to make Cocoa Puffs in a.m. Anticipate meltdown in the morning as a result. Note to self that we are low on milk. Need to get to store tomorrow. Lunch packed, supper for tomorrow made, clean kitchen, vacuum floor, and eight-year-old wants to play catch. Play catch, finish movie, pick up house, put laundry away, help kids brush teeth and put them both to bed. Meltdown 11 happens at bed time because the two-year-old thinks the eight-year-old doesn't have to go to bed. Sing Old McDonald for the millionth time and finally get two-year-old to bed. Tuck eight-year-old in and hear two-year-old crying. She wants her bunny and kitties which I find. I head downstairs, turn off the lights and turn on the TV. It is my favorite show Dateline but as I settle into my recliner I remember I need to take the garbage out. Go upstairs and change trash liners. Go downstairs and repeat. Walk outside and pull trash bin to curb. Come inside and make coffee for the morning. Sit down for the last half of Dateline.
Which brings me to the current. The house is so quiet. I'm here all by myself in the peace and quiet. The silence is delicious and it rushes around me. The bathrooms could be cleaned, the rest of the house vacuumed, homework for my masters could be read, and yet...I do none of these things. I don't feel badly about it. I take pleasure in not having to share the remote, not having to do anything except what I want to do, which at this moment is to watch Dateline and relax in a recliner. I don't have to make small talk or worry if I fall asleep on the couch or feel bad for looking at my phone. No one is asking me for anything or trying to keep me up late or even speaking to me and I love it. I absolutely love the solitude. These times are rare right now but I know it will not always be this way. I wonder if the noise makes me appreciate the silence more. Sort of like when you turn off the static from a radio or a TV, the silence sounds so much nicer. I find myself dozing off and remember I need to write the blog for this week. In reflecting on how content I am right now, I know exactly what to write about. It won't be poetic, it won't be earth shattering. But it will be real, authentic, and this asshole wouldn't change a single thing....except maybe to have another Dateline on after the one I'm watching is over. I'm amazed at how much I can handle. I have grown as a parent who couldn't deal with one meltdown to one who can take on double digit tantrums with two kids in one day. I'm not perfect but I'm getting better at this parenting thing. So i have a two-year-old that knows how to correctly use, "What the fuck!" I overlook that right now and focus on what I have done - I have learned how to parent without completing losing it. I smile. I will take that win today. I have grown to appreciate these moments of madness. These moments are where we spend the great majority of our days. If these moments can be appreciated and treasured, then our hours will be good, our years will be great and our lives will be lived to the fullest. Real life doesn't happen when we are at our best or when we are achieving sterotypical greatness. No, life is lived in these moments of chaos, when things are their messiest. It is these moments that allow me to bask in the beauty of the silence that now envelopes me as I head up to sleep and get ready to do the same thing tomorrow.
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