Grateful

Almost a year ago around this time, I wrote a blog post surrounding the question I was receiving most often at the time: “How’s married life treating you?” You can read the post here: https://dancingdissidentdaughters.blogspot.com/b/post-preview?token=yr7i7lQBAAA.bX-Ds7G0iYETi01P2jI43KzWgHk1gvIsDLaBxrq7mQKI-kuR5mPYW7JS3KshiqOhJGjAvjjOHZQd83ESvPM7Xw.2wORIMW0IhTND2byC9l-YA&postId=3610647231355431445&type=POST but to sum up the blog, I kept responding to people with “It’s good. Not a lot has changed but it’s good.” I elaborate in the post and go on to say why that was a piss poor answer but the moral of the story was that I was in fact, really just HAPPY and didn’t feel the need to effuse too much.

Anyway, here we are, a year later. Again, there is a single question that is dominating my interactions with friends and family. That is:

“How are you feeling?”

I suppose that question dominates a lot of people’s interactions but in my case, they are referring to how I am feeling toward the end of my pregnancy (I’m due in 2 days!). And here we are, once again, with me giving piss poor answers to that question. Most of the times I say, “I’m good. I’m just tired but otherwise I feel really great.” Don’t get me wrong, that’s not a lie. I am tired all the time and in general both physically and emotionally I feel really great. However, I don’t really feel like it’s a genuine answer.

I don’t know why it’s so difficult to answer the question authentically. Maybe it’s partially due to me thinking that people really don’t listen to your response anyway (#Aleschproblem?). But I think the greater issue is one that affects everyone in our society today. So many times we are almost scared of expressing our feelings of joy or happiness because right along with that joy and happiness we have this fear that it will be suddenly taken away. Brene Brown has some great lectures and books surrounding this topic and we could probably write endless blogs on this topic alone. However, she recommends expressing gratitude as a way of holding on to that joy and happiness that we may be fearful of losing. She says, “For it is not joy that makes us grateful; it is gratitude that makes us joyful.”

So to answer ALL of the “How are you feeling?” questions I have received over the past weeks and months….

“I am feeling extremely GRATEFUL.”

I could fill up three pages of stuff that I am grateful for and I’ll surely miss something or someone but I do feel like I need to mention a couple of items for when I go back and read this years later….

First and foremost, I am grateful to have been blessed with this healthy pregnancy. Second, I am grateful to be experiencing this special 10 months with my over-the-top supportive, loving husband. If you read my blog from last year that I referenced above, you’ll know I’m not one to gush about the details of our relationship. Suffice it to say he is as “dependable as the moon and sure as the stars”. Third, I am extremely grateful for all of the support from our family and friends…..

My immediate Iowa family preparing to take time off from work and booking expensive flights to be able to spend time with me and help after the baby is born, my in-laws throwing me the most beautiful baby shower, my sister Jill flying all the way out just to attend my baby shower, my mother-in-law making me food on the weekends, my girlfriends celebrating me with a brunch and giving me gifts to pamper myself (everyone gives the baby gifts but can often forget about mama!), my girlfriends who have visited me at the house in order to still have “girl time” but while I’m in my pajamas, friends and family sending notes of encouragement from all over the country (one of my biggest supporters lives all the way in Seattle!), my coworkers throwing me an unexpected and very thoughtful baby shower at work (I always say support in the workplace is invaluable!), etc, etc, etc.

And of course, all of the advice I have received. That’s right. Whether solicited or unsolicited, I have been grateful for it all. It’s funny because I have glanced at so many articles and feeds on the internet about how to politely reject unsolicited advice when one is pregnant. I guess I don’t feel the need to do that. In the end, people aren’t trying to tell you how to do things. They are just trying to be helpful. I bank the information that I think will be useful and just listen to the rest knowing that they are just trying to connect with you and your experience. After all, as I’ve said many times in my posts, that is what life is all about. Human connection….and lots of gratitude! J