The Emperor Has No Clothes

I was supposed to teach a course yesterday to members of the Massachusetts National Guard on Suicide Intervention out in Western Massachusetts. Needless to say, the course was canceled due to another FOOT or more of snow that we received on top of the TWO FEET we were hammered with last week. I was somewhat disappointed that the course was canceled because I was kind of excited to teach it for various reasons. First and foremost, I feel passionate about the subject matter. Did you know that according to a study by the Department of Veterans Affairs, approximately 22 Veterans die by suicide every day? Did you know that the suicide rate per 100,000 in 2013 was 28.9% for National Guard Service Members? Those are pretty astonishing numbers given that the national suicide rate for the United States is around 12%.

Additionally, despite a significant surge in training and awareness around the subject, the suicide rate for Reservists actually INCREASED in 2013. One of the ways in which the National Guard has responded to the issue is to train a certain number of Soldiers within the units to be “Suicide Intervention Officers.” Even though EVERY Soldier is trained via the ACE Program (Ask, Care, Escort) to intervene if his or her battle buddy may be suicidal, the Suicide Intervention Officers have additional training and resources. Suicide Interventions Officers are not only trained via the ACE Program but also through a two-day program called ASIST- Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training. This is an empirically, research-based program developed by LivingWorks Education that has been used for over 30 years. It is highly effective and in my opinion, a very good program. In November I was trained as an ASIST Trainer meaning that I can now teach Soldiers how to be Suicide Intervention Officers.

So anyway, back to the story on how I was disappointed the course was canceled. This would have been my second ASIST course for which I was an assistant trainer. After teaching my first course back in January, I realized I actually REALLY enjoy teaching, especially if I know the material and feel confident about the subject. As I already stated, I am passionate about preventing suicide. I also really enjoy teaching this course because it is somewhat of a break from the “normal” military type of operations. In fact, all trainers and participants in the course are required to wear civilian clothes. Uniforms and ranks are not authorized at all over the two day period and I enjoy dressing up outside of the uniform every once in awhile. That creates an interesting dynamic amongst people who wear the uniform almost every single day of their lives for almost 20 years. People are a little shocked at first when a Captain calls them by their first name or introduces herself as “Molly.”

There are several different reasons behind why uniforms and ranks are not authorized during the training. I agree with all of them but will not elaborate on all of them here. One of the reasons, which may seem obvious to readers, is that many personal beliefs and experiences revolving around suicide are discussed during the two day period. The ASIST program’s success lies in the fact that it is based around group discussion and participation. It makes it easier to enable discussion and promote learning around a very sensitive subject when participants are not looking at ranks or dropping a “Sir” or a “Ma’am” every other sentence. I completely agree with this and have witnessed numerous highly emotional story sharing sessions as both a participant and a trainer. Taking off the uniform, so to speak, for training purposes allows people to share their stories and give all the not-so-pretty details about their lives to another person (theoretically) without fearing any judgment or dealing with the invisible barrier to conversation that the uniform or rank may create. Unfortunately, as Suicide Intervention Officers, Soldiers are embedded within the units and are most likely going to be wearing the uniform AND rank if and when they are approached by a Soldier who may have thoughts of suicide. Yes, they could be approached in civilian clothes off duty, but a majority of the time, especially as National Guard Members, we see each other over drill weekends in uniform. As Soldiers, we are taught to fight like we train so the whole no uniforms, no rank thing got me thinking…

There are legitimate reasons behind why we wear uniforms and why we have a rank structure in the military. Many professions require its members to wear uniforms. We cannot get rid of our uniforms so how can we notionally remove our uniforms and ranks thereby removing those subtle barriers to conversation and promoting a safe, story sharing environment? How can we make ourselves approachable by Soldiers even though we wear a uniform with rank? How do we create an environment where Soldiers feel safe confiding in us and asking for assistance with any problem they may have, not just suicide? Is taking off our uniforms and ranks the only way to create such an environment? Should we teach more subjects using the ASIST restrictions against wearing uniforms? Should we hold more meetings, trainings, and outings with our Soldiers in civilian clothes? No, I don’t think that is quite necessary and I am being a little facetious.  However, I think it is something to ponder. I think as leaders, as humans even, we can create such an environment without literally having to strip ourselves down.

To that end, I think that learning how to metaphorically strip yourself down is a life-long process that is never ending and never perfected and I definitely don’t have all the answers for how to do it. However, I do feel that it’s about exposing your vulnerable, “naked” self and allowing the other person (i.e. the person or Soldier who may be confiding in you) to really see YOU not your uniform, rank, badges, certifications, awards, titles, degrees, etc, etc, etc. It’s about not hiding behind possessions and accomplishments in order to avoid accidentally revealing a weakness. It’s about LISTENING instead of TALKING all the time. Let me tell you, most people with problems just want somebody to listen in this world that won’t stop talking. They don’t give a shit about your degrees or other qualifications so stop talking about yourself. It’s about being HUMBLE and learning HUMILITY - not thinking less of yourself necessarily but thinking of yourself less.

Anyway, I’d love to hear from you! In which environments do you feel safe sharing your story? How do we create these types of environments? How do we strip down from our uniforms and ranks without literally taking them off? Do you create these types of environments in your respective work place? How do we create these kind of environments for our families?