Not only did I qualify for Boston, I qualified in all women's age groups, not just my own. I ran my personal best marathon time. I am telling you these things because I am proud-it is not in my nature to be vocal about my accomplishments and it's something I have had to deliberately practice-celebrating myself. I'm also mentioning these things because this was the least I've stuck to my marathon training schedule...but it was the most I've listened to my body and lived my life while marathon training. I started training "late" because of RAGBRAI...so I think I missed what should have been the first week or two of my training. Throughout the next three months, there were two full weeks that I didn't run at all, except to get the long training runs in, and I even missed one of those. I missed those weeks because I was living and enjoying my life-going on vacation, exploring and resting. My last long run I pushed back two days because I could feel my body was tight and I would likely sustain an injury if I ran on the scheduled day. Amy Sue from any other marathon (this was my seventh) would never have done any of those things...and yet this is the best one I've run. I know it was because I listened to my body and was happy. My body felt strong, not abused. I felt happy because I cared more about experiencing my life than sticking to a training schedule and I know those two things made my body strong and light and excited the day of October 18, 2015.
Another first for me was that I asked two of my sisters, Anne and Jill, to be there for me the day of my run. In the past, I've had friends or significant others accompany me...and to be honest, I was nervous about asking them. I was worried about the imposition (early start time, traffic, blowing an entire Sunday morning to see glimpses of me four times) and if I'm honest, I was probably worried neither of them would want or be able to come. They both came and were there for me the entire run. Jill brought my nephew Trevor and niece Brooklyn and I cannot tell you how happy it made me and how much energy it gave me every time I saw them (especially when I saw them all hoola-hooping in Water Works park). I felt so thankful and blessed that my sisters would do that for me and all I had to do was ask. It might seem so obvious but it was such a stark realization for me-these ladies are here for me and happy for m no matter what and I still get tears thinking about how much this means to me.
This leads me to the bumbling portion of my blog title...Anne got there early to take my extra clothes and gear from me before the start. It was really cold that morning but was going to warm up during the 3-4 hours of running. I had shorts on under Under Armour running tights and a long sleeve Under Armour shirt on under an Under Armour jacket (yes, I like Under Armour). I asked Anne if I needed the jacket and tights and she first looked at me like I was crazy and then kindly said that she got hot on the way over and I probably didn't need the jacket. I (foolishly) chose to leave the tights on and as soon as we got outside of the Marriott lobby, I knew I had to take the tights off (because those babies would be a bitch to take off during the marathon). So, while the national anthem was playing, I'm sitting on the cement taking off my shoes and tights and putting my shoes back on as I heard the national anthem finish. I ran over to try to get into the marathon start, barreled into a spot where people were pulling the barricades open to let people in and got in just in time to notice that I was at the 3:15 pacer spot...just as the starting gun went off. I told myself it didn't matter because those people could just pass me and at least I made it in right in the nick of time (I would have put myself at the 3:50 pacer spot).
But I ran with those people. I ran with them and the 3:20 people for at least half of the marathon. I noticed the voice in my head telling me I was going too hard too soon, that I should slow down. And then I noticed the more confident voice telling me I felt strong, I was doing this and it felt good and that's what we were going to go with this time because, "I got this". So I ran...and I saw Jill, Anne, Trevor and Brooklyn and I kept feeling good. I'm not going to lie...around Mile 23 my feet started to go numb but by then I knew I had a chance at Boston and I pushed through. I didn't know how well I'd done until later in the week. But I say I bumbled into Boston because I honestly don't know if I would have started out at the pace I did if I wasn't bumbling around with my clothes and shoes and Anne's sage last second clothing advice in the beginning and gotten in the wrong pace time!
And now for the beating the drum part of my title...with this blog, I am celebrating my accomplishment, which is very dear to me. I am celebrating not only the physical accomplishment and the fact that I get to go run the beloved Boston Marathon in April 2017, but I am also celebrating the culmination of so many life lessons and wisdoms that I feel contributed to this proud moment as much as any physical training (listening to my body, living my life to the fullest, asking for what I need/want and feeling vulnerable, laughing at my continued bumbling, listening to the confident voice). The fact that I am celebrating is, in itself, one of those lessons. In past years, I would never have written about this or publicly celebrated it. Growing up in my family, we were just expected to be good at everything we did-accomplishments weren't celebrated, they were expected. Through the work I've done on myself, I've realized what an unhealthy, withholding, damaging way of being that is and I've worked hard to be joyous and celebrate others' accomplishments...I'm better at that, celebrating others. This blog is an attempt to celebrate myself and something that is important to me, that I worked for and that I'm proud of. It is my celebration of not only the physical accomplishment but every life lesson I internalized to this point to make this happen. So here's to bumbling and beating my drum all the way to Boston 2017 and to hoping I do the same there!
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