Just a Quick Reflection

“You don’t always notice when Alls is on the court, but you definitely feel it when she’s not.” My 9^th grade basketball coach told this to my mom after my freshman year basketball season ended, and this quote has always been near to me, as this truly embodies Kristen Alesch at heart. For those of you that know me, you often hear me refer to myself as the “Jack of all trades, master of none.” Need a fill in soccer player? I gotchu. Need your toilet unclogged? I’ll figure it out. Stubbed your toe and need me to doctor you up? No problem.” Most often times you will find me supporting others, and meshing and molding with whatever team I am playing on, in whatever way is needed. As my basketball coach stated, I am not the all-star on the court and likely won’t be in the headlines of the newspaper, but I am a critical part in the functionality of the team and in giving others what they need to thrive.

 

Over the course of the past two years, I worked closely with a student that had very high intellectual and emotional needs. This student’s mom passed away when they were in 6^th grade and their family has had to undergo various hardships since I have known them. As a result of familial circumstances, this student has had to learn how to be independent and navigate their life with minimal structure. This student and I became close over the past two years and I soon became this student’s trusted adult at school. This student would often come to me when they were distressed, having a rough day in class or needed a motivational pep talk to finish up their math assignment. Additionally, I became close with this student’s family. I would text their aunt daily updates, stop by their house when I had a question or request and even went to a celebration of life for their mom this past November. I would work in coordination with their family to ensure this student’s mental, emotional and physical needs were taken care of.

 

As this student’s 8^th grade year progressed, they began to develop a strong relationship with their teacher. Their teacher is a pretty dope human J. This student worked closely with their teacher and had more direct interaction with them on the day to day, while the support I provided was more from afar and behind the scenes. This transition felt different to me, as I was not used to providing support indirectly. My motivational pep talks with this student turned into speaking with the director of the Boys and Girls  Club about scholarships for this student to attend. My rides home to this student from school turned into rides to the external soccer league I signed them up for. And my bothersome “Did you do your homework?” questioning turned into asking their teacher to remind them to do the homework in the morning before school if they had not completed it already. I missed the direct and immediate interactions this student once had with me, but also was happy that they had other trusted adults at the school to go to. I did often question whether or not the direct and indirect support I provided to this student had an impact.

 

Yesterday, the Boys and Girls Club director sent me a picture of him and this student standing together at the club. He said, “The power of the Boys & Girls Club has drawn this young person back! Not sure how they knew to be here today, but here they are ready to receive a little more Boys & Girls Club magic!!!” It was in this moment that I knew the indirect support I provided this student DID have an impact, and although this student needed me less and less, it was because I had instilled the consistent structures to allow them to succeed as an individual within the community. Although it felt like I had less significance in this student’s life at the time, it was actually because the significant and multiple roles I played were shared amongst other members within the school and community. This student learned how to build relationships, advocate for their self and be resourceful, in part because of the work I did with them. “Give a Man a Fish, and You Feed Him for a Day. Teach a Man To Fish, and You Feed Him for a Lifetime.”