I wanted to write you this letter to let you know how I feel about you. You have been the oddest year I have ever lived through in my life to date and that is saying something because I have had some pretty odd years. I know everyone wants to trash you and tell you how terrible you have been to us. And yes, I agree, I would like to tell you off most days as only a real asshole can. I would like to tell you about all of the stress you have caused – Kobe Bryant’s death, the pandemic, George Floyd protests, an explosion in Beirut and now some freak storm in Iowa that took my relatively new trampoline and utterly shredded it. You cancelled sports which means that for the first time in 12 years, my sister, Molly, and my best friend, Krissi, won’t be meeting up for our annual Cubs weekend in Chicago. Do you realize that not even a deployment to Afghanistan stopped us from making that trip happen? You really deserve a big fuck you, but I can’t quite make myself say that to you.
Why is that? Because you have also been an incredibly eye-opening year. I have gotten to spend more time with my children and family than ever before. It has not always been good or easy but we had time to do things together we would not have had if they had been in school. I taught them how to bake homemade bread, we went through their baby pictures and started their scrapbooks. We tried geocaching and painted ceramics. My entire family got to hang out in Cape Cod together. Before the pandemic, one of the sisters had plans and was not going to be able to make the trip. Thanks to COVID-19, however, the plans she had were cancelled and she was able to attend which made it really cool that all five sisters and our divorced parents were together for an entire week long shit show. I no longer watch TV for a variety of reasons. I was able to fully move on from a prior relationship and start over in a new house that feels like home to me now. I have had time to address some things I had been putting off. I became a pet owner for the first time. I was able to get to know my family better through a text message chain we started where we all had to answer a question of the day. I have had to rely upon my family for help more, including having my dad come over to kill a spider in a moment of true crisis. You have made me slow down and reflect, and as a result, I have realized some things about myself that I need to change or adjust. I think a lot of us had to explore new hobbies and have reconnected to the outdoors. I have learned to laugh again and experience joy – emotions that in the past had escaped me because I was too busy or too stressed. All of these good things can sometimes seem small in comparison to the negative things you have brought but the good things are there if we look for them.
So you see, I cannot completely despise you. Part of me respects your don’t give a shit attitude. I admire how you have shaken things up and given us all a wake-up call to varying degrees on varying topics. Part of me wishes you didn’t need to be so damned heavy-handed but as a fellow asshole, I sort of get it. I don’t know what the rest of your reign will bring. Perhaps it will be calm or it might be tumultuous. What I do know, is that nothing is all good or all bad and you are no different. Whatever happens in the next four months, I know we will deal with it and come out stronger and hopefully, kinder, on the other side. You are like that teacher that no one wants to take his or her class because it is so hard and so much work. But like those classes, perhaps we will find we have learned the most from you. I hope we have learned the lessons you wanted us to learn. I only have one simple request. As you leave us and 2021 takes over, please do not give 2021 any pointers.
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