On one particular day, I had a conference call at 1pm, which I did while nursing Adeline and putting her down for her nap. Immediately after, I put LJ down and thought I would have a couple of hours in silence to catch up on emails before my next conference call at 3pm. Of course, that was wishful thinking. At around 2pm, I heard a loud bang and I thought that either Adeline had fallen out of her crib or that LJ had knocked over a book case or something in his room (he no longer naps but does quiet time and plays alone in his room). I raced upstairs into LJ’s room first to find that he was okay although he also said, “What was THAT NOISE?” I did not even answer him because I was still worried that Adeline had fallen out of her crib so I started down the hallway. Before I reached Adeline, I heard LJ yell, “Oh, Mama, it was a big truck!” I looked out the window and noticed a dump truck in the neighbors’ driveway that had dropped off dirt. The noise had been the tail gate slamming.
I was thankful that neither kid was hurt but also annoyed that I did not get time to work undisturbed that afternoon. After all the rushing around, I returned to all five of my senses and noticed it was actually quite putrid smelling. Although LJ has been potty trained since he was two, he had crapped in his pants. When I asked him why, he said it was because I didn’t come when he called me. Since he is now almost 4, I haven’t changed a poopy pants on him in forever and knew that I would just have to throw him into the tub. However, first, I had to attend to Adeline who was now in hysterics. Upon entering into her room, it was also rancid. She had also crapped while napping, though it was less disturbing because she is not yet potty trained. Knowing I had the other conference call at 3pm, I had to rush both of their smeared, poopy pants off and throw them into the tub. I finished cleaning them up on time and took my conference call with water from the tub still splashed all over me and two kids (at least they were clean) trying to type on my keyboard and take my ID card out of my computer. I simultaneously chuckled and cried inside thinking of how the other individuals that were also on both of the conference calls that day probably checked emails or developed PowerPoints in between. I was 99.9% sure that I was the only person that had to change two poopy diapers and throw two kids into the tub in a scramble in between those calls.
All this to say, this pandemic has not been easy for anyone. And yes, I fully realize that I am still very blessed and privileged and that people have it much more difficult than us right now. Further, in my limited time, I am also reflecting and realizing that there are a lot of silver linings for us each and every day during this chaos. I have been keeping a mental note of all the small little things for which I am thankful that I have noticed my kids doing or that we have been able to do with them during this time. A couple of them are:
*Baking cookies and making way more crafts than I would have with the kids
*Seeing who can hear the owl first on our almost daily walks
*Walking by the neighbors’ daffodils and noticing how many are coming up. Talking about the difference between the daffodils and dandelions (which LJ sometimes calls buffalos and makes me laugh)
*Using the running stroller with the kids more regularly and while on a recent run when I was going up a hill, having LJ tell me, “Mama, you just have to keep trying.” This was in response to me telling him I was tired from the big hill. He then said, “Like when I am on my bike and I have to keep trying.”
*Witnessing LJ telling Adeline during a tantrum, “I know, it’s frustrating.” This one especially makes me proud because I am trying to raise them to acknowledge and express feelings.
*Talking at dinner each night asking everyone how their day was, what their favorite part was, and if there were any bad/sad parts. Last night LJ’s “bad” part of the day was that there was no snow. I think we are doing alright.
This is by no means to make us seem like a perfect family. I have had at least two breakdowns resulting in me crying in front of the kids, we have both yelled at them way more than we have before, Larry and I have argued more with each other, our house is a disaster, the laundry is piled up, and a couple of nights we have had sugary cereal for dinner. Larry and I are both anxious and although we both agree that we just want the kids to feel safe, I have worried if we are doing the “right” things with them during this time. I’ve questioned if we have let LJ watch too many movies and if I should be doing more “educational” things with him. However, today someone shared what follows after this paragraph below on social media and I felt relieved, hopeful, and happy. I hope reading my personal anecdote shared above may be something our readers can connect with and I hope reading what follows below may be a potential reframe for others. Keep believing that everyone is trying their best during this time and when you don’t know what to do, just do the next right thing whether that is changing a poopy diaper, throwing a kid in a tub, or making your next conference call. Love to all.
A Superintendent in Illinois shared the following:
“BUT WHAT IF…
What if instead of falling “behind”, this group of kids are ADVANCED because of this? Hear me out.
What if they have more empathy, they enjoy family connection, they can be more creative and entertain themselves, they love to read, they love to express themselves in writing?
What if they enjoy the simple things, like their own backyard and sitting near a window in the quiet?
What if they notice the birds and the dates the different flowers emerge, and the calming renewal of a gentle rain shower?
What if this generation are the ones to learn to cook, organize their space, do their laundry, and keep a well run home?
What if they learn to stretch a dollar and to live with less?
What if they learn to plan shopping trips and meals at home?
What if they learn the value of eating together as a family and finding the good to share in the delights of the everyday?
What if they learn to place great value on our teachers and educational professionals, librarians, public servants and the previously invisible essential support workers like truck drivers, grocers, cashiers, custodians, logistics, and health care workers and their supporting staff, just to name a few of the millions taking care of us right now while we are sheltered in place?
What if among these children, a great leader emerges who had the benefit of a slower pace and a simpler life to truly learn what matters in this life?
What if they are AHEAD?”
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