Even though it is nearly the end of February, this is my
first blog of 2017. For those that are
closest to me, you may be aware that I ended 2016 with a bang. Not the good kind of bang like the sound of
fireworks on the Fourth of July but rather the kind of bang that brings with it
destruction like the sound of a grenade exploding into soft earth. I’m not ready to write about the events
leading up to the end of 2016 but I tell you these things because for the
entirety of 2017 I have felt, well, gutted.
My muse had fallen silent in the wake of 2016. The asshole in me had finally been
quelled. As a result of this paradigm
shift, I found myself purging friends on Facebook—people I went to school with,
people I knew from work, people I knew from the Army—all were defriended. I had simply reached the limit of my
tolerance for putting on airs.
For some time now, I have hidden my true feelings on many
things because I was fearful that I was too radical or that my views differed
from those around me. Before I took any
action, at least for the past two years, I had to evaluate whose ego I would be
threatening and how I could soften my approach or mince my words in order to
make the person not feel threatened by me.
No longer free to be who I was, I gradually became someone I
wasn’t. I became overly concerned with
what people thought of me, never acknowledging that if people liked me for who
I was pretending to be, they still didn’t really like “me.” My anxiety skyrocketed due to the fact I was
always second guessing my approach or worried when I upset someone that I had
not done enough to stroke their fragile ego.
Writing a single email became an hourly endeavor as I poured over every
word and evaluated it for how it would be perceived. Apologies ran rampant. I’m sorry for asking this, I’m sorry for
bothering you, I’m sorry for doing my job.
This translated into I’m sorry for being who I am and I am even sorrier
for being here and posing a threat to your perceptions of reality. Fuck that
noise. So, today, for the first time, I
am choosing to write about a controversial topic. Read at your own peril for this will be
unfiltered.
The 2016 election highlighted many issues. Let’s start from that premise because I want
to start on common ground. It was by no
means, no matter which party you support, a high point in the history of
American politics. I think we can all
agree on that. But no matter who you
supported, I think it is important, perhaps even critically imperative, that we at least attempt to put aside bipartisan politics so we can unpack the blatant sexism that pervaded the
election because this issue affects our country
as a whole, regardless of your preferred party or candidate. I could have found other examples but the election
was probably the most glaring example I have and so I am choosing to go down
this road with the hopes you will keep an open mind, regardless of your
feelings about Trump or Clinton. I would
have written the same article had Sarah Palin been the first woman nominee for
President on a major party ticket. That
didn’t happen and so I have to use the example reality provided me.
From the outset, I am disgusted by the obsession with what
professional women wear. How many times
during the course of the election did we hear the word pantsuit? Why was no one talking about Trump’s tie/suit
combinations? We cared more about what
Clinton was wearing than her agenda, regardless of whether you agreed with it
or not. My older sister, Amy, was
working during the inauguration and overhead a comment about how the dress
Michelle Obama wore made her butt look big. I happen to think Trump’s ass is generally
huge (unlike his hands – ha ha) but no one is out there talking about how
pleated pants make his butt look even bigger.
Again, instead of commenting about her relative success or failure as a
First Lady, people chose to comment on her appearance. Why is this?
Why do we care so much about what women wear INSTEAD OF WHO THEY
ARE? This is not “just” the way things
are, the way they have always been or the way they should be. We need to name this. It is fucking sexism and I’m so tired of it. Both men and women don’t seem to understand
sexism and they seem to want to deny its existence. Even when presented with evidence, there is
an automatic denial. It couldn’t
possibly be sexism.
Take for example, the fact that David Petraeus pleaded
guilty to a misdemeanor charge of mishandling classified information in April
of 2015. What led up to this plea of
guilt, was an extramarital affair with Paula Broadwell, a biographer. Petraeus provided classified information to
her during the course of the affair.
This next point is important folks:
BOTH THE FBI AND THE DOJ recommended bringing felony charges against Petraeus. In order to avoid a tawdry trial, Petraeus
and his legal team worked out a plea deal where he would plead guilty to a
misdemeanor, thereby negating the need to proceed with a felony indictment. While there was some disagreement about
whether Petraeus would prevail in a court of law, there was little public
resentment voiced over the resolution. I
don’t recall much back lash, if any.
This is evidenced by the fact that Petraeus’ name was repeatedly floated
as a potential appointee in President Trump’s Cabinet.
Contrast this with what happened to Mrs. Clinton. Mrs. Clinton used a private email server for
official communications in her capacity as Secretary of State instead of the
official State Department email accounts.
Those communications included correspondence that would RETROACTIVELY be
marked classified by the State Department. Although none of the emails were
marked classified, policy dictated that unmarked classified information should
be treated the same as information marked as such. All of the emails originated
in five other intelligence agencies and were all sent from unclassified systems,
thus violating the very same policies Clinton was alleged to have
violated. Unlike in the Petraeus case,
the FBI did not recommend charges against Clinton. Part of the difficulty in the case involved
the mens rea or intent requirement. Specifically, it would have been very
difficult, if not impossible to prove Clinton knew the emails violated the
policy when the information had not been marked as classified prior to being
sent from another intelligence agency.
Also unlike the Petraeus case, there was no evidence someone with
unauthorized access received the information.
However, Clinton was vilified in the court of public opinion. I remember being at the Iowa State Fair when
then Governor-Pence was visiting and a mob of angry people began chanting, “LOCK
HER UP, LOCK HER UP.” I do not recall
anyone saying such things about Petraeus, who was allowed to quietly resign as
director of the CIA, plead guilty to a crime and less than two years later, be
considered trustworthy enough to be a contender for a cabinet position. Petraeus’s conduct was arguably worse, and
yet, Clinton was persecuted and Petraeus was not. I have to wonder if deep down part of the
assumptions made about what happened in the investigation were based on the fact
Clinton was a woman, and therefore perceived as “careless.” As a result, even though the respective experts
in the field—the FBI and the DOJ—did not find sufficient evidence that the
elements of a crime were established, the public assumed the elements were met without
even knowing, understanding or likely being aware of what the elements of the
crime were and how they might be proved in a court of law. Without knowing the facts or the standard of
proof, the public was much more eager judge and condemn a woman on bad facts than
it was to do the same to a man on fairly good facts.
Regardless of your political persuasion, if you can’t see
the sexism in that, you probably never will. If you do see it and "get it," then i implore you to stop being part of the problem. Be aware of sexism and name that shit--don't try to call it something else like "the way things are." Do not ignore it, deny it or avoid it. And for fucks sake, do not participate it or condone it. As long as we, as a society tolerate reporting on professional women's ensembles instead of their accomplishments or qualifications s, the media will continue to report it. Stop being part of the problem and state your opinions. We cannot continue to tolerate, or worse, take sick pleasure from tearing down some poor female who is trying to be seen as a professional because she wore a fucking pantsuit or a dress that did not flatter a size 0 ass. That's some straight up bullshit.
If I have offended you, I can
tell you it wasn’t my intent. However, I will not apologize. I am sick and tired of being apologetic for
having an opinion that might be different than yours. My Higher Power sculpted me through many trials and tribulations to be this asshole. Might as well let her out, at least once in a while. Welcome to the era of the
unfiltered Jill.
