Mucking Up Mucinex

I like to tell stories that showcase my ability to be a dumbass.

Let me first explain by giving an example.

I like to claim to everyone that I “don’t get sick.” (Because being extreme is one of my other favorite forms of humor.) In truth, I do actually catch the occasional virus; it’s just that it rarely happens. But of course, I am human, I do catch viruses, and I do get sick.

This past week was one of those rare occasions. By the time Friday came around, I was a mess. I was coughing every five seconds, blowing my nose every ten seconds, and I was so tired that I was having difficulty articulating coherent sentences. And yet- I still seemed to be a bit in denial that I was sick. I just didn’t want to believe that I was sick. So I stayed at my work conference all day. And then I proceeded to try packing for my trip to Memphis- a trip that involved driving ten hours and was scheduled to start early the next day.

By the time my mom called at 8:00 PM, I was a disaster. My voice was cracking into the phone, and I was having trouble breathing because I had so much mucus built up in my system. In fact, I had to lie down just to get enough oxygen into my lungs.

My mom talked to me for all of 3 seconds before realizing that I was incredibly sick. So she asked me, “What are you taking for your cold?”

Me: “Nothing.”

Mom: “Nothing? What do you mean nothing?”

Me: “I don’t go to the doctor for colds.”

Mom: “I’m not talking about the doctor. Why don’t you get some over the counter medicine?”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Mom: “I mean…why don’t you get some Mucinex or something? To help with your cold?”

Me: “What’s Mucinex?”

Mom: “It’s cold medicine.”

Me: “I don’t understand. What does it do?”

Mom: “Are you being serious?”

Me: “Does it sound like I’m in a joking mood?”

Mom: “You need to take something for your cold. You sound miserable.”

Me: “What? I mean will that stuff even help?”

Mom: “Are you kidding? It will help tremendously. It will help alleviate your symptoms. You won’t be as stuffed up.”

Me: “Oh. I didn’t know that existed.”

Mom: “You mean you’ve never noticed the counters full of cold medicine?”

Me: “I thought it might be placebos or a scam.”

Mom: “Don’t you have a Master’s degree?”

Me: “Yes.”

And so it went- my Mom convinced me to try out some over-the-counter cold medicine to address my symptoms. And it turns out… the stuff works! I mean, I definitely wasn’t cured overnight, but I felt 10x better the next day, and I was able to drive to Memphis. I was able to breathe significantly easier, I had more energy, and I was coughing less.

I told several people this story over the next couple of days, and it turns out that they had all heard of this miracle known as Mucinex.

Now, I tell you this story for a couple of reasons. One, I think it’s humorous. Apparently I was the last person on earth who had heard of taking over-the-counter drugs for a cold.

However, I also tell you this story because…I love stories like this. I began this post stating that I love stories that showcase my ability to be a dumbass, and I do. I don’t necessarily like stories that are self-deprecating (which tend to be more degrading and belittling), but I DO love stories that show just how human we all are. I’m very confident in my intellectual prowess and my gifts; and yet, I love to see all the gaps in my knowledge. I love seeing our humility as humans. I love seeing how complicated we are. I love seeing how silly we are. To be human is to be MANY things, and I think that one of the BIG things about being human is to see that we are funny creatures.

We ARE peculiar creatures. And I want to delight and laugh in it.