“We should get together for dinner!”
“Yes, that sounds great!! Let me look at my
calendar…Okay, I’ve got Tuesday the 4th free at 7:00, and Thursday
the 13th free at 6:30. Do either of those times work for you?”
“Ah, crud. I’ve got stuff going on both of those
nights…can we look at the following week- 3 weeks from now?”
(Both parties continue to look at their calendar,
attempting to find a mutually work-able date for dinner).
The above exchange is fairly typical between my friends
and myself. I don’t think that we are unique in this type of exchange; I’m
fairly certain that this type of exchange happens quite often among other
individuals. It's a challenge of wanting to find time together when we already have so many other significant commitments.
I posted this article to my Facebook wall last week:
I wanted to write about this topic of “busyness” because
I’m quite conflicted about it. Like many other issues, I’m able to see both the
benefits and challenges, and I want to reflect on the nuances. Moreover, I
would love to hear other people’s thoughts.
Here’s my perspective:
There’s definitely a significant part of me that loves
feeling “busy.” I love it because I enjoy feeling active and engaged in my life,
and I have learned that I do not flourish with a monotonous lifestyle. For
example, the year after I graduated college, I completed a year of AmeriCorps
in Indianola, Iowa. While the AmeriCorps experience itself was amazing, I fell
into quite a dull routine outside of work. I didn't make much money, I was
living in the same small town in which I completed my undergraduate degree, it
was a temporary “job” that would only last a year, and it was my first experience of living in the “real world”
outside of school. Because of these factors, I lacked a vibrant life. I primarily would go to work, exercise, and then I
would spend the rest of the night either reading or watching TV. I mean, I
definitely still had friends, but they all lived in Des Moines, so I would see
them maaaaybe once a week on the weekend.
Not very exciting, right? I didn't think so either; I
started to feel lethargic and depressed with that lifestyle. However, after
going to graduate school in Nashville and living in Des Moines for 2 years as a
professional adult, my life is much different. I almost hate to say it, but I do feel very “busy” sometimes. This fall, I reached max capacity. I was working
full-time for hospice, working PRN for Methodist hospital, and I taught a course for
Simpson College (my first one ever, which only added to the
workload!). Moreover, I also decided (for reasons that are still beyond me) that
this fall would be a wise time to travel all over the United States. I went to
Chicago for my sister’s bachelorette party, I traveled to Boston with a group
of friends for vacation, and I also visited Nashville with some Simpson
students. And in addition to all of this, I kept up my weekly volleyball games,
dinner dates with friends, time with my family, and everything else that I’m
actively engaged with in my life. I honestly don't think that I had one night at home during September/October.
I write all of this because I’m trying to illustrate that I
have had periods of my life where I have leaned toward both extremes; I have
had periods of monotony, and I have had periods of chaos.
Before I talk about the obvious “answer” to the extremes
(moderation), I want to reflect on both the benefits and challenges to busyness. Sometimes, I really loooove being “busy”
because I feel very engaged in my life. For example, I love interacting with
multiple groups of friends as each individual/community satisfies different sides of my
personality. I love working out in a variety of ways- playing volleyball on a
team, going to yoga classes, and running. I love going to cultural events and
activities so that I can experience new things in my beloved city of Des
Moines. I love trying new restaurants and finding new cuisines. I thrive
on the variety of people, experiences, and ideas, and I also believe that
they help me grow and flourish.
However. I also am weary of some of the implications of a
“busy” lifestyle. First, while I love interacting with a variety of people, I
question the degree to which we can fully invest in our relationships if we are
continually trying to have varied experiences with so many different people. I also really value empty
stretches of time that don’t have
anything scheduled. For example, I think it’s important to have empty stretches of time so
that we can learn how to spontaneously create. I think it’s important to have
empty stretches of time so that we learn how to relax. I think it’s important
to have empty stretches of time so that we learn how to spend time with
ourselves. I think it’s important to have empty stretches of time so that we
can reflect on life in general. I think it’s important to have empty stretches
of time so that we can…just exist, and so that we can embrace and feel this
existence in all of its simultaneous wonder and possibilities and despair and
emptiness and…everything else that is rolled up in life.
And I know several of you are probably sitting here
thinking, “Well, obviously, moderation is the answer!”
And yes, I do agree, obviously moderation and balance are
certainly key. However, I think it’s REALLY easy to say that moderation is the
answer without describing what that
looks like. Or taking context into consideration, such as some of the intense demands of modern
life. Moreover, I know that for me, “moderation” is an elusive goal that evolves as my life circumstances continue to change.
And so I ask you,
my readers- what is your experience of “busyness”? What does “balance” look
like for you? What are the benefits and drawbacks
to any of these types of lifestyles?
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